Roger's Diary

2012-01-19T15:08:00.002Z

Thursday, January 19th 2012

There you are.

Just a quickie to let you know that I have really done well with my weight loss. I have lost 3 stones since July 2010. Although now, I am only losing ½ lb a week, sexy Linda points out that that is 2 stones a year, if I can keep it up. That’s right. But of course, my writing is suffering. Even if I write in the night and early hours, which I do sometimes, it is hard to get in everything I want to do. It's imopossible to get everything you want, isn't it? I'm really very lucky.

Last week, there was a piece in the local paper, The Barnsley Chronicle, about my weight loss, and a photograph of me in the gym on a press up machine. I look like a demented dwarf. But the narrative was complimentary, essentially saying how well my weight loss campaign was progressing.

Rony Robinson at BBC Radio Sheffield is interviewing me for a series ‘Turning Point’ which will be broadcast live on Tuesday next, January 24th at 10.35 am. It’s about the important events in my life. It will be mostly about writing and subsequently getting published. If you are at a loose end, have a listen.

I am still wrestling with my book, and pleased so far. I hope that you think it is Angel at his best. I am now about ¾ of the way through. I should finish it by April. That’s only seven months late. Shh! Don’t tell the publishers.

Well, I’d better get back to writing it.

Thank you for looking in.

2011-12-26T11:15:00.004Z

Boxing Day, December 26th 2011

Had a great Christmas Day. Went to church at 9 o’clock to the service from the King James prayer book of 1662, which we prefer. The church looked beautiful and it was nice to be with so many friends.

BBC 1 broadcast a great service later in the morning live from Lichfield Cathedral, which we also enjoyed.

We had our Christmas dinner at five o’clock, just the two of us, and I am pleased to say that the turkey and everything was delicious. I would like to compromise the cook! Woo hoo! But she wasn’t in the mood. I’ll secretly slop some more Sherry in that trifle. See if that will do the trick.

Well, now the big day is over, who do you think is doing the washing up?

I’ve piled the pots and pans up very neatly at the far end of the worktop and found some odd plates and clobber at the back of the cupboard to get us by until Elaine comes later today. She’s marvellous. She’ll do the honours. And she’ll put it all away as well.

Among my lovely pressies, I got a heating pad from one of my nephews, Dylan and his lovely lady, Sarah, which is for wrapping around any part of the body that needs heat. As I write, I have my feet on it and I see that they are changing from purple to pink, which is absolutely great. ‘Purple to pink.’ Mmmm. Sounds like a great title for a book, doesn’t it. Pity I can’t make it fit the present Angel book I’m supposed to be writing. Do you know, I haven’t written a word of it for more than a fortnight. What with launching THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS as an eBook on Kindle, opening a Twitter account (as they say), coping with Christmas and going to the gym, I have simply not had the time. I must get down to it, or I shall be getting shrieks of complaint. I used to write three Angels a year and the odd play for the States, now it takes all my time writing the one book in twelve months.

I have worked up my attendances at the gym to five times a week, and I don’t mess around. I exercise hard for an hour at each session. I should soon be as lean as Prince Philip, who, although he is still in hospital as I write, I hear exercises on a regular basis, which must be some achievement for a 90 year old.

By the way, as you know, the NHS is being reorganised. And absolutely everything at Barnsley General Hospital is being turned upside down and back to front. I hope it will not result in negative improvements, because, up to now, the queen and I have always been looked after by the staff there in the most wonderful and careful way. Obviously the upheaval affects WEIGHTWISE. That’s the NHS department sexy Linda works for. I am waiting to consult her for diet analysis, follow up advice and to be weighed, but when I phone, poor lass, she is always in a meeting or dashing around somewhere. I don’t think she knows whether she is coming or going, or on her way back. But she’s very good. She always rings back, from a temporary phone number in a temporary office with no firm information. I must try her again soon. I might be knocking myself out at the gym and putting weight on!!!???

Well, Christmas day is over. The beginning of Chritianity has been duly celebrated. Whatever we did or didn’t do is now history. Hope you had a great day. 2012 is knocking at the door.

Have a great time, whether you are on your own, two of you or in a big family party.

And come back soon.

2011-12-16T14:07:00.002Z

Hello there!

I have had many requests,(well,2 anyway)for a picture of me at work. So here it is.

'I'm not in it because the queen called me away. Sorry about that.

2011-12-06T16:52:00.001Z

Tuesday 6th December 2011

Well, I’ve been talked into joining TWITTER, which is more pleasant than I had thought. But I will have to be careful not to waste time. I mustn’t fritter on Twitter. Ya hay!
I’ve caught the rhyming bug.

Yesterday, after watching the news, the queen and I wrote the following doggerel in a twink, what do you think? (There it is again!)

Here we go ...
Sarcosy is cozy with Merkel,
But Putin is always disputin'.
The rest of the mob
Are still on the job,
And going around in a circle.
Ba bum.

I know it’s tripe but it rhymes.

By the way, talking about tripe, I’ve just seen the winning entry for the Turner Prize. I don’t think I'll ask Martin Boyce to design my sitting-room.

Ah me. Back to the book.

Thanks for looking in.

2011-11-28T14:58:00.002Z

Monday, 28 November 2011

I’m back, book lovers.

This is a busy week for me.

It was ‘Stir up’ Sunday, on Sunday. The day traditionally set when the cook in the household made the Christmas Pudding. Did you make yours? No. You big fraud. I expect you’ll buy one from the supermarket.

On Wednesday, it will be the launch of the Kindle, Sony Reader and iPad edition of my book, THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS. I've never done this before, but everybody's doing it. So if on Wednesday you see crowds of people taking a day off work, marching around, waving banners, fighting the police and making speeches, don’t be a bit surprised!

And Thursday next, December 1st, is the day of the release of the beautiful recordings of my book THE DOGCOLLAR MURDERS read by that great actor, Jonathan Keeble.

So it’s a busy week.

And since I last wrote, I’ve had my ears syringed and my eyes tested, so I should be OK for a bit longer now. If you’ve crackling in your ears, have them syringed by a competent Nurse. It doesn’t hurt. It sounds as if the North Sea has come rushing in at you, but no worse than that. And you sit with your head upright in the normal position, which is good. So there’s no question of feeling dizzy afterwards. I thought you’d have to lean to one side, like having drops in. But no. Now I can hear the queen as if she was sat next to me – which she is. She never stops telling me what I ought to do or ought to have done.

Well, I’d better back to writing. I’ve reached an exciting part of the book, where Angel has to stop the murderer committing another murder. I’ll have to go, or he might get there before Angel does and kill him.

Thanks for looking in.

2011-11-10T08:49:00.005Z

Thursday, November 10th 2011

What do you know?

My erudite friend and website Manager, James, has kindly found a link that will enable you to listen to the actual broadcast referred to below on my last diary post. If you have a computer, tap in the address below.

http://litopia.com/radio/crime-pays/

Happy listening.

And reading.

Back soon.

2011-11-08T10:30:00.001Z

Tuesday, November 8th 2011

Hello there, book lovers.

I had a very interesting time last Sunday evening on Radio Litopia. I was a guest on their weekly, 50 minute programme, ‘Litopia After Dark’. It is from the writers’ colony of the English speaking world (their phrase). It was broadcast at 8 pm here, 1 pm on the west coast of the United States and 3 pm on the east coast. There were no ads. I was in good company with fellow authors Barbara Nadel and Chris Nickson. Their website is http://litopia.tv/10. It is a specialist website for writers. This month is their 'Crime Wave' . That's why I was on.

Moving on …
Fellow writer and friend, Zoe Sharpe, went out to the States in March and on her return, she wrote in last month’s issue of RED HERRINGS, –

“…while waiting for a flight in one of the largest airports in the US I realised that I was one of only three people in the entire departure lounge who was reading a paperback. Everybody else was reading on some electronic device.”

Well book lovers, whatever is going to happen next? Are you the proud owner of a Kindle, Sony Reader, iPad or some such device? Are you buying your reading matter in electronic form or do you still want to hold a book in your hand? Do write me and let me know. I will reply to you even if it takes a week or two. And if you say anything I can usefully print, I will put it in my next piece here. My email address is angeldetective@uwclub.net.

Well, I’d better get back to writing my book.

Thank you for looking in.

2011-10-31T09:28:00.000Z

Hallowe’en, Monday, October 31st 2011.

Hello there, book lovers.

What a summer I’ve had! My darling queen has not been well. Frighteningly, she had a heart-attack and was whisked into hospital. She recovered from that and was brought home, and a week after that she had another, and had to be taken back in. The ambulances were here in four minutes which was marvellous. Hopefully those magnificent doctors and nurses have got her sorted and with care she should be all right now. But I can tell you, it made my pulse race to see the ambulance flying up the lane with its blue light whizzing round.

What with that, trying to write my new book and keep up with the gym and the new life regime, I’ve been so busy.

By the by, I said that when sexy Linda of Weight Wise came back from her hols (she’s had three months, by the way – she must be rolling in money - her name should be Vorderman) she would weigh me and I would l let you know the result. Well I was weighed on October 7th and I’ve actually lost 10½ lbs in 11 weeks … nearly 1lb a week. Sexy Linda thought that was great. I’m pleased I’ve lost the weight, of course, but it seemed to be a rigorous schedule to lose what appeared to be so little. She pointed out, quite reasonably, that if I maintained that rate of weight loss for six months, by April 6th, I would be 2st 2lbs lighter. Well, you can’t fault her arithmetic. I will certainly give it a damned good try, and I’ll let you know progressively how it goes.

I’m excited about the publication of my new Angel book, THE CHESHIRE CAT MURDERS which will be out in hardback in March 2012. I hope you enjoy it.

I’m probably more excited about what is really big news from me …
Another Angel book, THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS, will be available as an ebook next week, on Kindle, Sony Reader and the iPad. Do you know, I’m so thrilled, I can’t sleep at nights. I have to go out into the backyard and howl at the moon.

Well, Barnardos have sent the Christmas cards I ordered, and they really are Christmassy, no stagecoaches, candles or robins, but a simple painting of the infant Jesus with Mary and Joseph in a stable, with several animals in the background. It sums up what Christmas is really all about, doesn’t it?

Before I go, I have a complaint. Now I don’t usually gripe about my lovely readers – God bless them, where would I be without them? But it has come to my attention that certain nosey parkers are reading this diary but not reading the books nor listening to the audios. Now I think that’s a bit cheeky. After all, I sit at this computer sweating blood to bring Angel’s mysteries to you and some of you are not even reading them. It can’t be general, thank goodness, because the overall sales and loan figures are up, but if you are guilty of the offence, and you know who you are, take heed of the following. Inspector Angel has discovered that Lilian from Ossett, who wore the magic T shirt and used to work at Empire Stores is one of the offenders. He’s told me that if it doesn’t stop, he’ll send the boys round one dark night and have her brought into the station for questioning. She could find herself spending the night in a very drafty cell. You have been warned.

Well, I’d better get back to the serious business of writing my book.

If you can stand the meanderings of this old writer, please keep looking in.

And take care.

2011-07-05T11:27:00.000+01:00

Tuesday July 5th 2011

Hello there …

The good news is that the publishers have accepted my new Angel book, THE CHESHIRE CAT MURDERS and it will be out in hardback next year in March. The bad news is that I was weighed on June 3rd and had lost only 2 lbs in a month. That’s a whole month’s new lifestyle, including the new eating discipline (although I was never hungry) and a hard, one hour work out at the gym three times a week! However, I shall keep at it. I am beginning to feel those endorphins kicking in. If I can catch two, I will them in a shoe box and maybe they’ll breed.

Sexy Linda (of WeightWise) is away for on holiday for a couple of months, so I don’t get weighed again until early September. I hope for a big weight loss report then. Already my new trousers are already an inch or two too big at the waistband so I live in high expectations. Whatever the result, I will let you know.

I was green with envy when I heard that a couple had written a crime novel and it had been published as an ebook* and that they had sold over a million. Then I heard that the price per copy was 70p. So I got to wondering how many Angel books could be sold if the price per copy was only 70p?

*Incidentally, ebook is an abbreviation of ‘electronic book’ which essentially means a book published electronically on the internet and not available conventionally printed on paper, bound within covers and available from retail outlets. I mention that because not everybody knows it.

If you’re having a holiday, have a super time. Enjoy the sun and each other, and come back brown and beautiful.

If you can stand the meanderings of this old writer, please keep looking in.

Take care.

2011-05-25T11:20:00.001+01:00

Wednesday May 25th 2011

Hello there …

My big news is that I have just finished my latest Angel book and I am really cock-a-hoop about it. I hope that Hales will like it too. The queen (my wife, to new readers) is proof-reading it now and I expect to post if off on Wednesday or Thursday. I have called it THE CHESHIRE CAT MURDERS.

Would you believe it, Sport, but I have had an email from Rick Silverwood from down under. Melbourne actually. He’s been reading my books and wondered if we were related. Well, I reckon any Sport who has a name like Silverwood, and reads my books upside down has got to be related, what do you think? He sounds like a great guy. Who-roo, Rick. Thanks for writing.

I said I’d tell you if I lost anymore weight since adopting this new lifestyle. Well yes, I have. I was weighed by sexy Linda was on April 1st and then again on May 6th, and I had lost 10 lbs. (The previous month I had only lost 2 lbs which was very disappointing). I get weighed again on Friday, June 3rd. I’ll let you know how I go on. I now go to the gym three times a week. I do a 55 minute workout each time. It’s long enough.

I see a very old lady there. She looks incongruous with her grey bobbed hair and half lens specs. She is very slow and heavy, but is determined to succeed. She spends most of her time on the treadmill at a slow speed. Better that she does a little exercise than none at all. I bet her arthritis (or her breathing or whatever is wrong with her) is improving. I notice that some of the other inmates have started talking to her and that she seems very happy to reciprocate.

I came across a great read the other day, the biography of Rony Robinson, the Alan Sugar of the BBC Radio Sheffield airwaves. It’s called WHO’S BEEN TALKING. It’s a warm walk through nostalgia. And it is definitely not expurgated. But be sure to read the latest Angel book, THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS first!

The latest news I have is that THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS will be out on Kindle, Sony Reader and iPad very soon. Apparently, to get it started, the cat’s whisker will need a squirt of WD40 on the widget, then it has to be pushed to the top of the hill for a good run down the other side before shoving it in gear and letting in the clutch.

I’ve just had my attention drawn to a review of THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS. It’s by the USA firm called ‘Readers Favorite’. They are ever so kind. Among other things, they say, ‘I like the author’s style of writing,’ and ‘This is a great mystery.’ You couldn’t wish for better reviews than that, could you?
I say, God bless America! President Obama can put his arm round my queen anytime he likes!

Be in touch again very soon …

Take care and look out for the sun.

2011-04-22T11:18:00.004+01:00

Good Friday, April 22nd 2011.

Hello there, and very Happy Easter Eggs to you.

I had an interesting chat with that delightful old shaver Rony Robinson, on BBC Radio Sheffield on Wednesday. We talked – with the charming Cath – about the closing down of some library branches in the South Yorkshire area, and indeed across the country. All to do with the cuts the government keep on about. I made a plea to keep all the branches open. I pointed out that 77.9% of 5 – 10 year olds now use libraries, that children’s borrowing has increased progressively for six years, and that one in six people in the UK struggle with literacy. Libraries build people’s literacy levels, educational attainment and employability; they develop confidence, self-esteem and well being, and best of all, they’re FREE. Closing even one library could be disastrous for the education, career and future livelihood of some members of our community, and denying children particularly, the magic of a library is wrong.

All those big tomes bursting with information could enrich their lives immeasurably … whatever their interest ... the solar system … the stars … history … how to make fireworks … how to make ice cream … the Just William books … Oliver Twist … Bertie Wooster ... Roald Dahl and THE GREAT MOUSE PLOT OF 1924 … it’s all pure magic isn’t it?

If it hadn’t been for our bulging local library, and indeed our widely diverse school library, I swear I would never have had enough ability, imagination and confidence to write a single word, and I don't want our children to grow up to be square-eyed morons.

Have a great Easter.

2011-04-08T16:32:00.003+01:00

8th April 2011

Back again, and what do you think? Great news.

Angel is going to be on Kindle, Sony Reader and iPad this coming Autumn. That is in addition to the traditional hardback, paperback and large print versions. This new move is to accommodate those who prefer to read from a screen instead of the printed page. I don’t know how popular this new system is, but they can’t say that old Silverwood is behind the times. I hope that it means that Angel will reach a much bigger audience. The gas bill still has to be paid, and in my house (and his), it is always bigger than the preceding one. Anyway, wish me luck. And if you are going to the Grand National, have a great day out. And I'll wish YOU luck! I shall break off writing my book and watch it on the TV.

Have a great time, and come back soon.

2011-04-03T10:29:00.002+01:00

3rd April 2011

Hello there.
My grandmother said that ‘disappointments were good for young folk’. I don’t know what she meant by that exactly. Disappointments never did me any good. I have had a lifetime of them. And to find out that I had only lost two pounds in three weeks (23 days to be exact) was a big disappointment I can tell you. What I have suffered and gone without to achieve that, you wouldn’t believe. I have been to the gym twice a week and knocked myself out on those machines, and I have forsaken all sorts of goodies. True, I have replaced them with healthier foods, and I only remember going to bed hungry on one occasion … and I could have cheated and demolished the remainder of a packet of shortbread biscuits and maybe a layer of luxury chocolates one of my lovely nephews had bought us for Christmas, but I didn’t.

Anyway, there it is. Our session leader, sexy Linda, pointed out that even at that rate, in a year I could lose 2 stones. Put like that, it didn’t sound too bad. And she added that I should remember that I have made lifetime changes. If I maintain those changes, there is no reason to put the weight lost (23 pounds in all) back on. And overall, I do feel better for it.

Well, what do you think? Have you had any success losing weight? Have you made lifetime changes to lose weight, become more active and, hopefully, become healthier and happier? If you want to write to me, I will reply personally and I’ll put the best letter on this blog. My email address is: angeldetective@uwclub.net.

My new book, THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS, came out on March 31st. It is in the libraries and for sale at Waterstones, Amazon and other shops. If it isn’t on the shelf at your local library, smile sweetly at the librarian and ask her to get it for you. They really are the most charming ladies.

I once went into Barnsley Library and I wanted a particular book. I couldn’t remember the title or the author, and I hadn’t a clue about the publisher. I told them that it was about a rogue from the 19th Century who was in the British army fighting somewhere abroad.
One of them said, ‘And was the author Scottish?’
‘I believe he was,’ I said.
‘I think I know,’ she said and rushed off.
Two minutes later she returned and handed me a book. ‘Is that it?’ she said.
It was a copy of “The Flashman Papers,” by George Macdonald Frazer.
I glanced at the cover. I blinked. My mouth dropped open. ‘That’s it,’ I said, in amazement. ‘Thank you very much. Thank you very much indeed.’
She smiled modestly, wriggled her shoulders with pride and said, ‘It’s my job. That’s what I do.’
And at Barnsley, they do it very well.

Following Weight Wise has put me way behind with the Angel book I am currently writing, called THE CHESHIRE CAT MURDERS. I don’t know when I will ever finish it. And I am ever so excited about the plot. I must get back to it.

If you can stand the meanderings of this old writer, please keep looking in.

Take care.

2011-03-20T11:26:00.002Z

Sunday, March 20th 2011

Hello there, happy readers.

In my last entry I said I’d tell you about ‘Me in the Gym.’
If you are given to laughing easily, I suppose you’d laugh your socks off. Even in my best suit, I’m nothing much to look at. But in a white T shirt, black jogging trousers and rubber soled moccasins I look funnier than Lady Ga Ga.

As I have said, I’m not doing this exercising out of choice, I’m doing it to avoid an operation. ‘Exercise is medicine,’ somebody once said. Whoever it was should be shot.

Anyway, I arrived at the gym by arrangement and was duly interviewed, weighed, had blood pressure check, and blew into the cardboard middle from an empty roll of lavatory paper. I was then told that I was an appropriate subject for a weight loss and cardio vascular something or other programme, that the club would be happy to accept me, and the NHS would pay for me. Well, readers, what could I do? All I had to lose was my pride.

I started a week later on February 1st, and I was met by Andy who had already worked out a programme of exercises for me. It comprised different lengths of time on five static machines: a mix of walking, hand pedalling and cycling. The length of time actually working totalled 38 minutes. I found out that that wasn’t too strenuous. I noticed that just as I was getting bored, tired or fed up with a particular exercise, the time had run out and it was time to change to another machine. So the session passed quite easily. My forehead was moist, I was a little short of breath and I had a tiny trickle of perspiration run down from my temple. But I was OK.

I have been going there twice a week for seven weeks now. Well, as the sessions passed, I upped the time on each machine to 10 minutes, (that was 50 minutes), then to 11, then to 12. I found that 12 was a minute too far, so I am back to 11 minutes each machine (that’s 55 minutes). I may try to up the time again soon, I’ll see how I feel.

There are silent TV screens to watch while you are exercising. I can watch the news and read the moving strip of words across the bottom but the blaring noise from loud speakers of pop music (I think that’s what they call it) is ugly and annoying. The staff are very nice, so are the other inmates. They are a surprising mix of both sexes: young, old, fat, huge, colossal, thin, skinny, ugly, average and beautiful.

One member of staff came over to me and quietly asked if I was the Roger Silverwood, the writer of Inspector Angel. I was pleased to say that I was. He spent some time talking to me about Angel and the business of writing books while I was on the machines which helped to pass the time. When I next went to the gym, he produced a copy of THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM and asked me to sign it for him. Amazon had delivered it in 3 days! He has since ordered THE MAN WHO COULDN’T LOSE. I told him that there was no need to buy my books. He could borrow them from the library for nothing. Anyway he has since kindly bought several. He said that he wanted to own them and perhaps read them again. Nice man.

I haven’t been weighed since the Weight Wise course finished on March 8th. I hope to see the Weight Wise session leader, sexy Linda, at a check up on April 1st. when I will be weighed again. Whatever the result: good, bad or indifferent, I will let you know as soon as I can.

On the writing front, this weight reducing lark has sent my writing schedule completely to pot. I am miles behind with my current Angel book, hopefully now for next year, and provisionally called THE CHESHIRE CAT MURDERS. I don’t know when I will finish it. My latest book, THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS, will be published on March 31st. I hope you will enjoy it.

Well, I must leave you If you can stand the meanderings of this old writer, keep looking in.

Take care.

2011-02-15T14:58:00.000Z

Tuesday, February 15th 2011

There you are.

I have been that busy writing a new Angel book that I have almost forgotten about my diary.

In addition, I have a health issue which was occupying my mind. I was directed by my GP to the hospital to see a specialist, and suffice to say he said that there was a requirement for me to loose some weight. Doesn’t everybody say that these days? Well, this is to avoid me having to have a biopsy and possibly a subsequent operation that the surgeon didn’t want to do anyway because of the risk involved. But he also said he didn’t want me to start doing anything extreme. A gradual loss of weight was the order of the day.

Well, readers, if you knew me really well, you would know that I’m not an exercise man at all. I mean I wasn’t brought up in a family where we were interested in the Olympics or the local football team or anything to do with exercise or sport or any of those sorts of things. If any sport associated items came on the telly, we would promptly turn onto another station. Our Saturday evening conversation round the telly was more likely to be what wine we were to have with our Sunday roast than how Manchester United had done in the league! On Boxing Day we didn’t go out for a brisk walk round the park or go on a skiing holiday in the Alps. We would go to bed to recover from the previous day’s jollifications.

We didn’t even have a set of weighing scales in the bathroom.

Anyway, the surgeon sent me to Weight Wise (part of the NHS). This is not Weight Watchers or anything similar. It is an entirely different concept. Weight reducing organizations advise the foods you should not eat and suggest all kinds of weight reducing diets and strenuous exercise. The result is that half the time you are starving and unhappy, and when the diet ends and you relax slightly, you balloon into some monster from outer space.

Well, Weight Wise advise the foods you can eat and should eat, and also suggest stacks of alternatives.

More importantly, they teach you a new regime for a lifetime, so that you do not spend half your life half-starved, and the other half, overweight and unhealthy. The course is ten sessions 1½ hours long and I am halfway through it. I have lost 10½ lbs so far and I must say, I have not felt deprived or hungry at all. I will easily be able to keep to the changes for the rest of my life. I strongly recommend it.

For instance, they strongly recommend you to have a healthy breakfast. They say it cuts down the craving for something unhealthy later in the day.
They teach that it is all right to have a sensible portion of ice cream (for example) provided that you also have a balancing portion of fresh fruit. They teach you how to interpret and understand manufacturer’s product labels, which fats are tolerable, in what amounts and so on.

Another offshoot of Weight Wise (also an NHS initiative) and free in Barnsley is a 24 session course at a local gym.

Well friends, I could never in a lifetime imagine me in a gymnasium without someone holding a gun at my head. I haven’t been near any exercise equipment since I was 15. But then it was compulsory.

In a weak moment I decided to do it. It’s amazing what the stern look of a doctor, the fear of death plus the magic word ‘Free’ will do to a man.

However, me in shorts is a sight to behold.

I had no sports kit, only an ancient pair of shorts I had worn years ago on the beach. Anyway the queen said I had to get togged up properly, so our housekeeper, Elaine, bless her, measured me up, duly went to the shop and bought me a pair of jogging trousers and a white T shirt. I put the gear on with trepidation and checked in to the gym. But I’ll tell you all about that next time.

The only news on the writing front is that THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM is sold out. It’s been my best seller through 2010. If you have a copy, hang onto it.

I am looking forward to my latest Angel book, THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS which is due for publication on March 31st next.

Thank you for your letters. If you are waiting for a reply from me, I’m sorry. I will write in the next few days.

Take care and keep warm.

2010-12-24T09:43:00.000Z

Christmas Eve, December 24th 2010

I hope you are done with your shopping, wrapping, baking and whatever. The queen says what isn’t done strays undone.

The dustbin man has just emptied our wheelie bin. I am glad about that. Gives us more room to throw out more rubbish as it arises … at Christmastime there’s a lot of rubbish about.

The tree lights have gone out. I can’t fix them. I’ve done all I know. I suppose we can manage without them if we must.

Eileen Symonds at Penistone FM, a local radio station, best heard online, has asked me for a request to be played on her ‘Gift Box Special’ programme on Monday, 27th. December. If you want to know what I chose, please tune in to Penistone FM at 10 am. You can get there via Google.

I will be going to a service at Sheffield cathedral tomorrow, if the weather is no worse, and I hope to see you the other side of the turkeyfest. Have a super time. Cheers.

2010-12-23T15:06:00.002Z

Thursday, December 23rd 2010.

Hello there.
I can’t remember a December as cold as this. As I write, through the window I can see a few stray flakes of snow drifting down like fluff from a goose's chest. I have had to turn the central heating up, and I see from the British Gas cardboard thermometer on my desk that the temperature is 21 degrees Centigrade (70 degrees Fahrenheit), your ideal room temperature, it reads. In addition, I have a hot rubber water bottle at my back and another under my stocking-feet, so I feel warm and very comfortable. In fact, I don’t want to go outside until around May or June. My dear wife, the queen, says that downstairs is too warm for her. The doors (back and front) keep being opened to let in visitors or the cat or deliveries, and by the feel of it, she isn’t in any hurry to close them. She has also taken to feeding the birds and cats and any other stray from the kitchen window, so that keeps being opened too!

Looking at the up side, if the weather makes it impossible to venture out, I shall definitely finish my book before March 31st 2011, which incidentally is the publication date of THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS. The one I am working on is a great plot that hopefully will keep you intrigued and guessing all the way up to the exposé. It is tentatively called THE CHESHIRE CAT MURDERS. I’ll keep you posted here how I get on.

Moving on …
We have a lot of friends and relations, and it is super to keep in touch with them at Christmastime. And we like to do it by sending Christmas cards. We don’t do it because it’s obligatory. We do it because we simply like to maintain the contact. I expect you are the same. But this year has been particularly difficult for us. I was unable to find any cards that I thought were appropriate for the season, so I hadn’t bought any. Then we had that gigantic fall of snow and we were snowed in at the critical time, so we couldn’t get any cards anyway.

We were concerned that by not sending cards we would lose that valuable personal contact with our friends and relations, so we decided to send everybody a letter explaining what had happened and wishing them Yuletide greetings, etcetera. We didn’t want them to think we’d gone potty or had become mean in our advanced years. We didn’t save any money by doing it, because we sent the value of what we had spent on cards last year to the Save The Children fund.
Unexpectedly, several friends have phoned to say that it was a great idea.
I don’t know. It wasn’t really planned. I sent the letter to get us out of a hole. I will have to think about it for next year.

Anyway, whatever you are doing, whatever your circumstances, the queen and I wish you the blessings of Christmas, the remembrance of the holy child, peace and comfort, and have a super time whether you are on your own, just two of you, or in a party of ten thousand. A very Merry Christmas.

2010-11-13T10:36:00.004Z

Saturday, 13th November 2010

There you are!

You know the blurbs in the Radio Times, the TV Times and on the telly, that tell you about the films to be shown there? They usually start off so well, capturing our attention by naming two or three of our favourite actors. That’s followed up by saying that the actors are in a sparkling comedy, an exciting adventure, a chilling crime mystery, a romantic drama or something like that. After that, the blurb gives details about what happens, who does what to whom, how they react, and what they do next. It then goes on to tell us of an unexpected change in the circumstances and what happens then … and before you know where you are you have the whole ruddy plot spread out in front of you! Speaking for myself, I often decide that I don’t want to see the film if that’s what it’s all about. Does that happen to you?
Well, I have to write the blurb for the jacket of my own books, and I admit it isn’t easy. I have to write enough to persuade the reader to want to read the book, but not enough to make the reading of the book pointless. I introduce the main characters, set the scene, try to suggest the atmosphere then hope the reader will want to find out what happens in the story for themselves. It often takes several rewrites before I get it how I think it should be. Hales, the publishers, want me to write the blurb in 120 words only, which is quite limiting but entirely adequate.

Moving on …
It was the Northern Branch Crime Writer’s Association luncheon in Boroughbridge on Sunday last, 7th. Only writers who have crime novels published are members and can attend (with a friend). Everybody and their Aunt Nellie were there. The main thing on the agenda was this new commercial venture - publishing on line. This may possibly revolutionise conventional paper book publishing, like the introduction of sound to the film industry in 1914. I have two writing friends who have recently succumbed to the enticements of an on line publisher but it is too early to find out how successful the venture has been. Readers would need the novelty of an iPad to read the book in bed or on the train or wherever, which is an additional expense. I can see that it might have some success, but it surely can’t beat receiving a beautiful new printed hardback book as a gift, can it? I’d like to hear what you think.

Incidentally, I forgot to pay for my lunch at the hotel even though the branch chairman had made a special plea to all members not to forget to call at reception and settle up before leaving. However, there were a couple of friends I wanted to speak to, and some little bits of business I needed to attend to. After all, we only meet twice a year, so in the hurly burly of it all, I forgot. It was only when I was driving down the A1 bypassing Leeds that I suddenly remembered. I didn’t want to turn round. I was almost halfway home. So I thought I would phone it through on my credit card as soon as I got home. Anyway, I duly arrived here at about 4.15 pm. The queen was waiting for me wanting to know all the news. I said that I must pay for my lunch first. So I switched on my computer to tap out the hotel name to find the phone number. In the process I saw that there was an email from the branch chairman pointing out that I hadn’t paid and would I do it pronto. I was very surprised. He had certainly been quick on the draw. Anyway, I found the hotel number and dialled it.
Eventually a young woman’s voice said, ‘Reception.’
I said, ‘Hello. I had lunch in the hotel today and I am afraid that I left without paying.’
In a voice she used for asking tiny children with brown marks all round their mouths and on their fingers, if they’ve been at the chocolate cake, the hotel receptionist said, ‘Is that Mr Silverwood?’
Like Frankie Howerd, I was truly amazed! When I recovered from my amazement, I said, ‘Am the only one?’
‘You are,’ she said.
I apologised. Then I paid with my credit card, it only took a few seconds, and politely ended the call.
Do you know, I felt like Ronnie Kray. I really did.

Moving on very quickly …
In the current government squeeze, the Department for Culture, Media and Sport proposes to reduce payments to authors for the loan of their books from libraries. Currently we authors receive 6.29 pence each time a copy of a book is borrowed from a public library under the Public Lending Right (PLR) scheme. If the proposals are sanctioned the rate will be reduced to 6.25 pence per book. Further cuts are likely in following years with the government aiming to reduce the value of the overall PLR fund by 15% by 2014.

I suppose we should think ourselves fortunate. At least two publishers, a small chain of booksellers and a dozen or more libraries have closed during the year.

For the record …
My latest book, published on 30th June is called THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS. I have a new title coming out on March 31st 2011 called THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS and I am writing for publication hopefully next year THE CHESHIRE CAT MURDERS.

Well, I must leave you. I'm miles behind with everything. If you can stand the meanderings of this old writer, keep looking in.

Take care.

2010-09-30T10:02:00.003+01:00

September 30th 2010

Hello there.

I was rambling through Wikipedia this morning and found that DI Angel was mentioned as a detective created by me. So (vanity will out) I tapped in my name and - blow me! -that was there also. Only a small entry admittedly, but to be mentioned at all in an encyclopaedia was much more than I had expected. My mother thought it was marvellous when I was first listed in the phone book! Hey Ho. THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM was also mentioned, plucked out as the 14th Angel book to be written by yours truly.

Moving on ...
I understand that the audio version of SHRINE TO MURDER (15th Angel book) is in the libraries and shops as from yesterday. If you know of anybody who has difficulty seeing or is blind, please let them know. There are books by me (and better known authors than me) available to be borrowed free or for a small fee from most public libraries. SHRINE TO MURDER has been recorded by Gordon Griffin. He records lots of books including Reg Hill’s Dalziel and Pascoe.

I see the mince pies are already in Tescos. What does that tell us?

Keep happy. Come back soon.

2010-09-14T09:53:00.005+01:00

14th September 2010

Ah, there you are.

Have you noticed how much cooler it is?
A week or two back as I was thinking of winter and not looking forward to it, a leaflet from our local council was pushed through the letterbox with the post. It said that if we had our loft insulated with special glass wool to a thickness of 10 inches, it would reduce our heating bill by 25%. It got me thinking. 25% would be a considerable amount in this household. What’s more, I had heard that in certain circumstances, this could be done free. Our local council was promoting the scheme so I thought I would look into it. I heard also that most power suppliers are offering a similar scheme to their customers. Although it isn’t means tested, I discovered that because we already had some existing insulation, we didn’t qualify for free (which I didn’t mind, though the logic is beyond my simple mind).

Anyway a young man came last week, humped the rolls of stuff upstairs, pushed it through the little loft hole and spread it to an even thickness of 10 inches, and it cost us £250.00.

I am fully expecting to have a holiday in the Maldives with the saving the experts say we will make this winter. Have you had any experience of this? A saving of 25% off a regular household heating bill is a very substantial claim.

On something else …
Have you heard the phrase ‘EXERCISE IS MEDICINE’? I don’t know what smart arse said it, but I am trying to get with it and stay healthy. I have got that exercise bug. I must be a late developer. I don’t mean serious running, and squash and all that sweaty Johnny Weissmuller stuff (Tarzan to you youngsters). Oh no. But I do believe that gentle exercise is necessary to counter the many hours I spend in my dressing gown and pyjamas in my little room tapping out on the computer.
In the summer I can take my exercise walking round the Park about seven days out of eight, but on the eighth it invariably rains and so I don’t go out. On those days –and there will be many more of them in the coming winter - I should take some other form of exercise indoors. I don’t know exactly what yet, but I have taken the first step in preparation. I have bought a walkman.

Must get back to writing my book. Thank you for looking in and reading the ramblings of this old writer.

2010-09-06T09:39:00.003+01:00

6th September 2010

Ah, there you are. Sorry not to have kept this diary up to date. The fact is the queen is not well and has had two weeks in hospital. I have had to be nurse, cook, secretary and message taker for the past month. She still isn’t so bright. It’s worrying when the one you love is not well. Everybody has been so nice, which is making it tolerable for her, but I’d rather like to see her getting out and about again.

It was our wedding anniversary at the end of August, and I had asked her a month or so back what she would like. She said she would like a watch. Now I had bought her a watch a few years back. The leather strap had been replaced and was now tatty and anyway she preferred an expandable bracelet type thing, also she needed a watch with a slightly bigger dial to make it easier to read.

Coincidentally, I had recently pulled off the top of the button on my watch when trying to change the time which had left a sharp point projecting. I had asked the jeweller how much it would cost to repair and was quoted £10 to £17, so, as the watch was only about £25 new, I was not inclined to pay it.

Now you can spend a lot of money on watches these days, but they still tell the same time. I mean a £10,000 watch doesn’t tell you a more accurate time or offer superior time. It doesn’t come with the assurance of sunny weather or a promise of better health for the wearer or anything like that, and gilt ones look like gold even if they are made from reclaimed FrayBentos tins.

The outcome was that the queen and I agreed that we would buy watches for each other for our anniversary, and that, as she wasn’t yet mobile, I would go down town on my own and choose them. I was carefully briefed and we agreed that I should pay whatever was necessary to get exactly what each of us wanted. We expected this to be anything from £25 to £100 each.

I started at the place we had always regarded as our ‘watch shop’, and was surprised to be told that they had nothing in that price range at the moment because they had let stocks run down prior to imminent structural changes and re-decoration of the shop. ‘If I cared to come back in three weeks …’

No I didn’t.

I crossed the road and went into another small jeweller’s shop. There was a beautiful young lady who should have been on a cat walk. She smiled so sweetly that I couldn’t stop staring at her. ‘We don’t sell watches in the ordinary way,’ she breathed. ‘Perhaps the occasional antique watch bought privately … but if you go into the Alhambra Centre there is a jeweller there who sells nothing but watches, I think you will find what you are looking for. Can I help you with anything else?’

She could, and I didn’t want to stop looking at her, but the queen wanted a watch. I had to move on. I reluctantly came out and made my way to the Alhambra Centre. On the way I passed the huge window of a big jeweller’s shop and peeked in. I saw several ranges of watches with price tickets on them with numbers as long as my National Insurance number … I walked on.

I reached the Alhambra Centre, went through the swing doors and quickly spotted a shop with a huge display of watches … several shelves with about a hundred or more on each shelf. There were no prices showing which I found irritating. They could cost hundreds … even thousands. Anyway, they did look interesting. A young man came up to me. He didn’t speak. I quickly saw a watch that looked like the very thing that would suit the queen.
‘May I see that?’ I said.
He nodded and handed it to me. Then I saw one that looked like what I wanted. He handed it to me and I put it on my wrist. It seemed to fill the bill. I had a closer look at each of them. They seemed fine. ‘How much are these two?’ I said.
He pointed to a sign high up over the counter. It read: “Watches - 3 for £10.”
I read it again. I couldn’t believe it. I took a step back. I was stunned, but my training as a husband told me not to show it. I looked back down at the watches. I didn’t know what to say. I checked that both watches were working. They were. They both showed the correct time and the second hand was sweeping round the dial at an even rate.

Eventually I managed to speak. ‘But I don’t want three watches,’ I said.
The young man pointed back up to the sign. Then I realised he wasn’t English. ‘Tree for ten pund,’ he said.
I said, ‘How about these two for six pounds?’
He looked thoughtful, then after a moment he shook his head.
I said, ‘How about these two for seven pounds?’
He nodded.
I pulled out a five pound note and two pound coins. ‘Wrap them up,’ I said.
‘No boxes,’ he said dropping the money in the cash till.
I frowned. But I wasn’t going to argue about boxes. I put the two watches in my pocket and looked up to say, ‘Thank you,’ but he had moved away to attend to another customer.

I came home highly chuffed. So was the queen. Now I’m stuck, trying to think of a Wedding Anniversary present for her.

Well, I have started my new book, but not progressed far due to hospitals and other problems. I still have to get a carpet for the little box room I use as a study, but I have to get motivated for that sort of thing. I want to do it before the winter winds start, and I noticed quite a few leaves on the lawn this morning. Autumn isn’t far away.

I enjoy hearing from you. I seem to have readers all round the world. You can always reach me at angeldetective@uwclub.net, and if you write anything really interesting, I might mention it here on the diary.

Cheers for now, and thanks for looking in.

PS. What do you buy a woman who has everything?

2010-07-13T14:12:00.002+01:00

13 July 2010

Great news!
I have just heard that my latest Angel book has been accepted by my publishers. It is called THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS. It will come out in March 2011, and I am naturally delighted.

I am particularly pleased because everywhere you go, I hear of good, experienced, competent authors stuck with manuscripts in their hands, not knowing which way to turn. The credit strain is battering authors very hard. Money is short. Libraries have had their already mean buying allowance drastically cut back. So orders to publishers aren’t flowing in so readily. Some authors have sold the rights to an email publisher. I am not sure how that works. I understand that the book is never actually printed, and that it is sold on line for a fee, like music. It might eventually be sold to readers who have one of these new IPADs. I think an IPAD is a computer about the size of an A4 sheet of paper and around two inches thick. One side is mostly screen, and I understand that an IPAD can store more books than you could read in a lifetime; also you can do all sorts of clever tricks with it, such as change the font size to make it easier to read, and that sort of thing. The practical and commercial mechanics of ‘publishing’ that way are beyond my comprehension. I hope we are not seeing the end of the published book. After all, there’s nothing like unwrapping a book as a gift … it wouldn’t be the same as unwrapping an internet file as a Christmas present, would it?

Well, we are in the dog days of Summer. I read that the saying comes from the Romans who called the hottest days of the summer, ‘dog days’. They believed that the DOG-STAR (Sirius) rose with the sun, added to its heat and therefore bore the combined heat of both. So it says in Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. It says that the hottest period therefore is from about 3rd July to 11th July. So we have just had it! I must say, it does feel a bit chilly today.

It has been beautiful this last week and I have managed a few walks round the Park. I hope you are able to take advantage of the good weather and get outside and enjoy the fresh air, the green grass and the trees. The bad weather is soon enough with us when we will want to be huddled up inside.

I must get started on my new book. I have a super plot for an Angel book in my mind, but the queen and I have a few domestic jobs to do before I can get started.

Have a nice holiday if you’re going away; if you’re not going away, have a lovely, quiet, unhurried time at home doing whatever you want to do.

Thank you for reading the ramblings of this old writer.

2010-06-28T08:31:00.002+01:00

28th June 2010

Oh dear. Oh dear. And it will cost £12m to get rid of the ‘poor’ man. All that money. How much will it cost to keep him, I ask myself? What ever does he live on? Goldfish?

I raced home yesterday afternoon from a twice yearly meeting of the Northern Chapter of the Crime Writers’ Association lunch and meeting hoping I might catch the end of the match on the telly. I needn’t have rushed by all accounts.

The chapter meeting was very interesting and I met up with some old friends including Peter N Walker (of Heartbeat fame) and his dear wife Rhoda. They were both looking younger. Peter was Chairman of the northern chapter for ages.
A hundred years ago when I was shy and struggling, it was Peter who encouraged me to join in branch activities. (Come to think of it, I am still shy and struggling.)

Next years AGM was announced and apparently it is to be in Darlington. Also the junior crime writers’ competition was discussed. This is a national scheme sponsored by the CWA to get young people interested in crime writing at an early age. There have been thousands of entries. Entry forms available at participating public libraries. If you know any young person who wants to get started and can’t get an entry form, email me and I’ll put you in touch with the appropriate library. My email address, as always, is - angeldetective@uwclub.net.

Watch out for publication of my latest Angel book THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS on Wednesday next, 30th June. If you see anything unusual in the sky it could be the rockets.

Come back soon … if you can stand the pace.

2010-06-07T11:10:00.002+01:00

7 June 2010

Hi there.

Welcome back. I’ve neglected the diary a bit, I must say. My excuse is that I was busy finishing off with what is possibly my most exciting book. I completed it yesterday and the queen is downstairs proof reading it for me so that I can hopefully I post it off to the publishers tomorrow. It is called THE DOG COLLAR MURDERS. I hope you will think it is Angel at his best.

It is impossible in this life to get through without pain. I should have learned that from when I was five when I had a spanking from my mother with a coat hanger for deliberately setting fire to the white lace bedroom curtains.

Anyway, about two years ago I had terrible toothache. I was in agony. It was at the weekend, and my regular dentist who had been treating me over ten or twelve years was closed. There was a message on his answerphone saying that I should contact the NHS emergency dentist and it gave the number, which I duly rang, many times. However, that phone was always engaged. It must have been off the hook. So, in desperation, I went to the A and E department at the hospital. It was explained to me that while they didn’t have an orthodontics department - I thought that that was the specialist department that dealt with donkeys - the duty doctor would take a look at me. I sat there patiently waiting and wondered if it was possible to give me an antibiotic to get rid of the infection and thereby ease the pain. A few minutes later a 12 year old boy in a white coat came into the cubicle where I had been shunted. He had a look in my mouth and declared that, ‘The gum was a bit red and swollen, but nothing serious,’ and sent me home with 2 co-codamol and advice that I ‘should see a dentist.’

Do you know, writing about this is getting me all worked up, so I’ll skip a few stages and move on.

A friend told me that there was a painless dentist I could go to. A painless dentist? I thought anything to do with teeth had to be painful. I had visions of Bob Hope in that silly film where he was supposed to be ‘Painless Potter’ the travelling dentist touring the Wild West in the 1880’s. He was anything but painless. Anyway I found the man’s name in the phone book, and he had more letters after his name than Idi Amin. Anyway I made an appointment to see him. I had to go private so the cost was enormous. Anyway, to cut the story short, the surgeon extracted the tooth and I didn’t feel a thing. No needles. Just a scratch on the back of the hand. Nothing painful. I slept all the way through it. I had a taxi home and had a painfree snooze through the afternoon. Since then I have had a filling there, no needles, no heavy weapons, utterly painfree, without being anaesthetised.

Last week the same man took out two wisdom teeth and one ordinary tooth. Again no needles. No pain. Slept through the whole operation. It is outrageously expensive, of course, but it is totally without pain and horror.

If you suffer from toothache and you need a dentist, forsake something like a weekend break, or three six month’s booze and go to a painless dentist.

Moving on …
I had a delightful letter from Patricia of Ipswich. I won’t give her name in full in case she is shy. She wrote to me at my publishers, Robert Hale. She says some very kind things about the Angel books. I quote:

‘I love them. They are in plain English, understandable and the best read I’ve had in years.’

She goes on to say that she has read all the titles except one which her library can’t get hold of. It must be MURDER IN BARE FEET, because it is sold out. Although it is no help to Patricia, I am pleased to take this opportunity to remind readers that audio versions of the book were recorded and published in April by Soundings. The actor who made the recording is Jonathan Keeble who also recorded my book, WILD ABOUT HARRY published in 2010. By the way, I have just heard that Hales are reprinting CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM which is excellent news.

Watch out for THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS, which is the 16th Angel book, to be published on June 30th. If you live anywhere near Barnsley in South Yorkshire, watch out for the sky lighting up!

Take care. Back soon.

2010-04-30T09:34:00.003+01:00

30 April 2010.

There you are.

Had a great time at the Ladies Group at Emmanuel Hall, Barnsley, on Wednesday night, the 28th. I gave a talk called ‘Writing Your First Book,’ where I tried to inflame the imagination and then have a session writing a piece of narrative. Some of the ladies were very inventive and dived straight into varied and exciting plots. Believe me, gentlemen, the ladies weren’t short of ideas, and there’s probably at least one writer of a best-seller among them!

Would you believe it, for the first time this year, we now have two big vases of beautiful fresh spring flowers in the house… mostly daffodils but some tulips, picked from our own garden? The queen was greatly cheered. There seems to be great satisfaction in growing and picking what you’ve grown, isn’t there?

Hey, we’ve bought a 42” flat screen TV, which is absolutely fabulous. The screen is like a big window and I was brought out my drowsy state the other night when I thought Anthea Turner was coming straight through it into our sitting-room. When I discovered she wasn’t, of course, I went back to dozing.

Still banging away at the book. Hope to finish it soon. I seem to have been writing it forever.

Come back soon if you can tolerate the meanderings of this old writer.

2010-04-25T13:37:00.003+01:00

April 25th 2010

Hello there.
There was panic in the Silverwood household yesterday.

It was so beautiful yesterday morning, where we live at the foot of the Pennines, that the queen was inspired to go round the house, look out at the views and open all the windows. Spring is here, she said. Freshen up the house, she said.

Of course, I followed her round closing them. I’m not paying good money out to the gas people to heat up the garden and fields!

Anyway, as a result of that, later that morning, I was in the bathroom getting washed and I reached out to the rim of the sink searching for the towel when I suddenly experienced a pain on my finger. It was a pain to end all pain. It was a pain that I shall not forget. It was like being stabbed in the finger with a hot needle that had an electric element running through it. I naturally pulled it away and an angry wasp fell off the end of it onto the carpet. I chased it round but soon gave up. The pain on my finger was too severe. I dashed to the cabinet, found some iodine and cotton wool, and dabbed round the area. It didn’t seem to make any difference. I went down stairs and showed the queen my finger. By this time it was red and swelling. I told her about the pain and asked her if she had any ideas about what to do to relieve it. She said we should ring NHS Direct. I said no, it wasn’t serious enough to bother them with, but she rang them anyway, then pushed the phone at me. It was a pleasant enough young woman at the other end. I explained that I had been stung by a wasp and asked if there was any quick way she could tell me how to relieve the pain. She said there were some questions she would have to ask me first. I struggled to find out how I could get relief from the pain, but lost, so I held out my throbbing finger and submitted myself to answering a series of irrelevant questions. I thought that she might come up with the advice when she reached the end of them, but no. She was apparently only a clerk, and she said that a nurse would phone me back in about half an hour. She had gone off the phone before I had chance to say that I might be dead by then. Anyway, to be fair, the nurse rang back about ten minutes later. She asked me another load of questions, many the same as the clerk had asked. Then at last I got the information I had been seeking, which was simply to wash my hands thoroughly with soap and water and then gently rub a piece of ice round the inflamed area. I thanked her and rang off. I washed my hands thoroughly although it was painful. I didn’t have any ice in the fridge, but I did have an unopened bag of frozen peas. I didn’t open them, I just put the affected part of my finger onto the bag. I have to admit it was very soothing. After an hour the pain had almost gone leaving a swollen pink area about as big as a postage stamp. This morning there is no pain at all.
I am most grateful to the NHS.

On somethings entirely different …

I am speaking to the Young Wives Group about ‘Writing your first book,’ at Emmanuel Hall, Huddersfield Road, Barnsley, at 7.30 pm on Wednesday evening next, April 28th. If you want to join in, please come along. Admission is free.

I am still working away at my new book for October or so this year. But my next Angel book out is THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS on June 16th 2010.

Come back soon if you can put up with more ramblings from this old writer.

2010-03-25T10:30:00.001Z

Thursday 25th March 2010

There you are.

Terrific news. I have just heard that THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM, published on the 30th September 2009 is already out of print. That means on the one hand that sales have rocketed (which, of course, I am ecstatic about), but it also mean that latecomers won’t get a copy, as it will be impossible to persuade my publisher to reprint it in this financial climate. (It took 31 years to get a reprint of my first book, DEADLY DAFFODILS!)

Incidentally, the real daffs in our garden have arrived! The gold colour from my study window cuts through the mist, lightens the gloom and cheers me up. I thought we’d lost them all in the big freeze. Thank goodness for some normality.

Of course the winter just past is how winters used to be. I suppose if you’re under 20, you will think it unusual. I remember being caught in Aberdeen in 1962 and having to spend the weekend there because the roads were impassable and the trains had stopped running.

Moving on …
I received a cosy letter from the gas people telling they want more money. MORE MONEY! There is a subtle hint in the small print if you look hard for it that had me dashing off to read the meter.
The gas companies don’t read meters anymore. They haven’t time. They are too busy adjusting price lists upwards. Besides that, reading meters is a dirty, cold unsociable job … creeping round houses, knocking on doors, waiting for folks to answer. So many people out at work … nobody in all day, so that the reader has to call back in the evening. Can’t do that.
Anyway, I phoned the actual meter reading through to the sugar tonsilled lady at the gas company and she lowered the bill. Just like that.

I frequently mention in the books that Angel is worried about paying the gas bill. I would be interested to hear what you think about today’s gas prices (or anything else). The address is angeldetective@uwclub.net. If you write anything interesting, I might mention it here on the diary.

I heard the Chancellor of the Exchequer say he was making plans to make it easy for everybody to have a bank account. (Presumably as the first stage in organising a new way of taking money off us).
And I was thinking, doesn’t he know it’s always been easy to open a bank account? The only requirement was that you had to have money, the more the better. If you hadn’t any or much, there wasn’t much point and you might have been turned away.
Anyway, millions of people still don’t want a bank account and pay their bills at the Post Office. They trust the Post Office. But the government wants to close down the Post Offices that everybody trusts and move the business to the banks that nobody trusts!

Is there any hope for commonsense?

Still hacking away at the Angel book. It’s taking shape now. It should be finished in about six weeks. It is proving quite a marathon, but I am writing carefully. I want Angel fans to enjoy it and get their money’s worth. This will be the 17th Angel book. My next Angel book out is THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS on June 16th 2010.

Come back soon if you can put up with more ramblings from this old writer.

2010-03-16T10:07:00.003Z

Tuesday, March 16th 2010

Well hello there. Welcome back.

The temperature today in sunny South Yorkshire is forecast to be 15C. Isn’t that fantabulous? I may soon have no excuse at all for not walking round the Park. My main reason this year has been the atrocious weather, and the need to work at my new Angel book.

It was a heavy fall of snow overnight that prevented some members, me included, from attending the Crime Writers’ Association Northern Branch dinner and conference last month. Meeting up with fellow writers and old friends, enables us to compare notes, talk about publishers and generally beef about everything to do with writing crime. That companionship is valuable and I missed it. The next one is in October, I will have to wait until then to recharge my battery.

We have a dear lady, Elaine, who looks after the queen and me. She keeps the dust out of mouths, prepares meals and generally does everything. She planned to go away for a week’s holiday recently which was fine, although I wondered how we would manage. Anyway, Elaine said that her elder daughter, Sharon, could come in for a few hours and keep us tidy and organised while she was away, if we would like. The queen and I were very grateful and gladly agreed to the idea. So Elaine went off on her holiday with her younger daughter Sheree to Italy, and Sharon duly arrived that Monday morning and did her stuff. Although Elaine was a thousand miles away in a foreign country, (‘Bonjourno,’ to all my Italian readers, by the by), apparently she was in regular contact by ‘text’ with Sharon. And Sharon, who I thought was a darling, looked after us admirably, and everything seemed to go all right.
However, when Elaine returned, among many other things she showed me a text that Sharon had sent to her after the first day coming here. It read, ‘I could throttle Mr Silverwood. He complains so much.’
Naturally I wasn’t pleased, but I made light of it.
Then later Sharon came round to show me the text her mother had sent to her from Italy in reply. It read, ‘Yes. He moans. Take no notice.’
‘He moans. Take no notice.’ Me! I didn’t know what to say. I denied it categorically, of course. Everybody who knows me, knows that I am as easy as an old boot. Women!

Of course I have been hammering away on my computer at my new book which is something of a tussle. (It’s like marriage. It gets harder as you go along.) Getting the characters believable, Angel’s wit as sharp as I can make it and a plot that is both original and exciting is no mean task for Angel’s 17th outing. It will still be some weeks before I finish it. I hope readers will think it’s all been worth waiting for.

Meanwhile, THE SNUFFBOX MURDERS will be published in July and will be the 16th Angel book.

And while writing, I am pleased to advise that the audio rights in SHRINE TO MURDER have been sold to Isis, so that the blind can hear it recorded by Jonathan Keeble on disc or cassette. They will be ready in April.

Also, the large print rights in WILD ABOUT HARRY have been sold to Thorpes and will be published in April. Thorpes have published my other Angel books, which is super.

I think that's about all I can think of for now. Now I must find my walking boots and stick.

Take care and come back soon.

2010-01-23T09:57:00.003Z

Saturday, January 23rd 2010

Hello there. Welcome back. I’ve got some great news …

The wheelie man has been and emptied our grey bin. He has left the green box of tin cans and glass bottles standing outside our front gate, though. They have been there since Christmas. I hope he’ll come back and move them soon. This is the drawback of living off the beaten track.

Also, I note from figures supplied by the Public Lending Rights people, who monitor the borrowing of books from the council run free public libraries in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, that the borrowing of my Angel books has slightly more than doubled for the 12 months period ending June 30th 2009. There were three new titles published during that time which would of course add to the figures. They were MURDER IN BARE FEET, WILD ABOUT HARRY and THE WIGMAKER. They added about 18% to the total but if you divide the borrowings by pi, add a lemon and throw in a corpse or two, it still means that many more of you lovely people are reading about Inspector Angel.
Writing the books stops me watching the telly, thinking about women and it helps pay the gas bill and invest in the occasional bottle of bubbly, which can’t be bad. So I thank you for all of that.

I say, I am looking forward to next Friday, January 29th, when the latest Angel book, SHRINE TO MURDER will be published. This book has the most intricate plot I have ever written. When you’ve read it, I hope you will see what I mean. I tried to write it so that just when you thought you knew whodunit, the storyline took on a slightly different emphasis and the clues slipped away like money at Meadowhall. I won’t say more or I shall give the plot away. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
I expect the queen and I will go out to the pub for our usual haddock and chips to celebrate!

Hope you are keeping well through this cold weather. It is these temperatures and barometric pressures that find all our weak spots. I was complaining to my doctor about painful aches in my leg and back and she said that gentle walking is as good as anything. As soon as I can, and weather permitting I shall take a gentle stroll round the park. It might help me to work out the fine points of the plot of the present book I am struggling with.

Take care, keep well and come back soon.

2010-01-03T14:54:00.001Z

Sunday, January 3rd 2010

Happy new year to you. I can’t believe it’s 12 months since I last said that. This year has gone faster than a teenager’s Christmas money.

I have to say that it’s been a tolerably kind year to my friends and relatives. I haven’t had to go to a single funeral. So many have been in hospital and had operations which they have graciously come through - Praise God and the NHS.
Thinking about it, I haven’t been to a wedding either.

2009 has been a great year for me. I had two new Angel books, THE WIGMAKER and CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM published in hardback and MURDER IN BAREFEET published in large print, also a CD audio version of it recorded for the blind.
I am highly delighted at the continued success of my Inspector Angel books and I thank all you lovely people who buy them or borrow them from their libraries. A few – only a very few I hasten to say – are kind enough to email me and tell me they like them. Special thanks to you for going to the trouble.

It is sad that in 2009, I noted that two book publishers have closed their doors for the last time and I hear that two multiple book retailers have also ceased trading. All, no doubt, a result of the recession.

You know, the government are trying to tell us that the recession is almost over. They blind us with statistics to which we have no access. We’ll know when the recession is over when everybody who wants a job has got a job.
While I’m chuntering on, I do wish they’d stop this ‘quantitative easing’. That’s fancy talk for printing more money at the Royal Mint. Everybody knows where that leads to - INFLATION on a grand scale.

Well, as a good friend of mine says, ‘Life may not be perfect but it’s better than the alternative.’

The queen is in good fettle and has been bustling me around these last couple of days, so there is not a lot different here in 2010. We are almost cut off with the snow and it is still coming down. It is very picture postcard, but if it doesn’t stop soon, I shall have to mount the hill in my snow skis, harness the huskies and fetch us some victuals.

Take care in the snow, and come back here soon.

2009-12-18T16:39:00.003Z

Saturday, December 18th 2009

There you are. Thanks for coming back.

I bought a heavy new book called THE DEFENCE OF THE REALM: THE AUTHORIZED HISTORY OF MI5, and what an interesting tome it is. 1032 pages some of them detailing events and personalities from round here.

It mentions Arthur Scargill, one time leader of the NUM. It tells of the miners strike in 1984, his formation of ‘flying pickets,’ his dealings with the Russian miners union to get monetary support from them, also his successful negotiations with Colonel Qaddafi of Libya to procure funds to finance the strike. And many other interesting facts, including the exploits of heavy drinking Scottish Miners' leader, Mick McGahey, who came to Barnsley many times during the year long strike. Because his phone was being tapped, McGahey was very wary speaking on it about NUM business, but whose wife was never off the phone talking to friends and relations and innocently giving away all that her husband’s personal travel arrangements from which MI5 was able to anticipate the union’s plans.

There is comment about Roy Mason, MP for Barnsley, then a member of Prime Minister Harold Wilson’s cabinet, one time Secretary of State for Northern Ireland during the troubles. Now Lord Mason.

Geographically further away, but still no less intriguing, the book details how MI5 and the police found the Libyan who left a bomb to be detonated by a barometric fuse in a suitcase in a Boeing 747 which exploded over Lockerbie in Scotland in December 1988. There are several pages devoted to explaining how the forensic team found fragments of clothing classed as ‘category one blast damaged,’ and therefore from inside the suitcase containing the bomb, were eventually traced to an outlet in Malta. THere, a shopkeeper recalled selling the clothing to a man resembling a suspected Libyan intelligence officer, Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi.

I had always wondered how MI5 and the police had managed to make such a fantastic connection.

The book begins with the founding of MI5 in October 1909 in the office of a single private detective, Vernon Kell, at 64 Victoria Street, London. His only target was German spies. Today’s strength is around 3,300. The service occupies a massive pile on Millbank in London, and its target is any country that is, or might become, a threat to the security of the UK and the rest of the world.

To other things …
Great news about my book, WILD ABOUT HARRY. It is to be recorded onto CDs for the blind and those who like to listen in the car or anywhere like that. It will be released early next year. I don’t know who will make the recording yet. I expect it will be the same chap, Jonathan Keeble, who did such a great job with MURDER IN BARE FEET.

About Christmas ...
Well, I’ve written the cards, (unless anyone catches me out). I swear that somebody I don’t know very well will post a card to us at the very last push so that we can’t reciprocate. And we will be filled with embarrassment (if we remember) next time we see them.

I am really looking forward to this Christmas. I’ve had a quick look at the new double issue RADIO TIMES and from what I could see there’s very little telly for me.
On Christmas day, the queen and I will go to church. Hope the weather is friendly. We shall have a slap up turkey dinner at about 5 o’clock, then I shall simply sink into the quiet of the house … and rest, or I might take the opportunity to write. Also, maybe I will sleep better when things settle down and there’s just the queen and me.

Christmas is a great festival and it’s for everyone to enjoy and celebrate in their own way. The nativity is a magical story bringing love and hope to a poor working man and his wife. We can do with that love and hope here now, so, whether you’re on your own, just the two of you, or in a big party, keep the magic of Christmas alive. I hope your troubles are small ones, and whatever your dreams are for this Christmas time, may they all come true. Have a great time.

I’ll get back to you soon.

2009-12-04T16:25:00.004Z

December 4th 2009

There you are.

You know, I was never much of a coffee drinker even at its peak in the 1980’s. I’ve gone off coffee completely now. I’m a 100% tea man. But have you noticed how tasteless tea is getting these days? I used to look forward to my cuppa, now I find it very uninteresting. It tastes of hot water. Or is it me? Even if you squeeze the bag between two spoons, as I do, it makes little difference. If I tried standing on it, I suppose it wouldn’t improve it. I won’t name the brand because I don’t want to get locked up. Anyway, I’ve tolerated this deterioration for about two months now until an idea came to me the other day.

About twenty-five years ago or so, I remembered the queen and I visiting an old uncle and aunt who lived in Suffolk, and they invited us to have a cup of tea. When it came, the cup (although beautifully decorated) hadn’t a handle and it didn’t have any milk in it either. I thought it was a bit queer. The queen soon realised that it was China tea and quickly declined. But I never say no. I took the special cup, tasted it and enjoyed the drink.

I also remember having China tea after a delicious Chinese meal in Leeds. That was in the days when you could choose lots of various dishes of separately cooked meats, fish, vegetables and fruits and you ‘composed’ your own selection on your plate. It made for some delightful mixtures and exotic taste combinations that are missing today. That was in the good old days, of course.

Anyway, on Monday, I had the brilliant idea of dumping traditional Indian tea and trying China tea. So I went into our supermarket on Wednesday and was surprised to find a vast selection of teas from all over the world on offer. I stood there and gawped at them. I took down some of the boxes and read the labels. The stories they told were better than the stuff I write. I thought the right one would be Pure White China Tea packed by a very well advertised beverage supplier.

I eagerly brought it home, had it made to the directions on the packet and it tasted foul. I was very disappointed. What do I do now? I suppose I’ll have to go back to my favourite drink, Champagne.

I would be interested to hear what you think about today’s tea (or anything else). The address is angeldetective@uwclub.net. If you write anything interesting, I might mention it here on the diary.

Now I really must get back to writing my new book. What I need is discipline. There is simply too much to do. Come back soon if you can tolerate the ramblings of an old writer.

2009-11-08T16:10:00.003Z

Sunday, November 8th 2009

There is a quality, glossy, colour, monthly magazine called MOSAIC which circulates the posh areas of Yorkshire. Well a few weeks back their chief reporter, Adam Civico, asked me if I would like to be the subject of an article – one of several – in the forthcoming November issue.
Now, you know I’m not vain. There isn’t a more modest man strutting his stuff in Barnsley than Roger Silverwood Esquire. But vanity is a powerful magnet, so I succumbed and agreed to be a subject.
The reporter duly came out, asked me questions, which seemed all right, and then a man followed him up to take photographs. Now I don’t photograph at all well. It doesn’t matter how the picture is taken, I always come out looking fat. This is outrageous, as everybody who knows me will tell you that I’m as slim and sylph like as a celery stick. So if in your travels you come across a copy of the November issue of MOSAIC and you find the piece about me, do remember that the photographs are not of me but of some other man of the same name.

Moving on ...
Yesterday, I had a great time. I was invited to talk to the Doncaster Writers’ Group at the Central Library there. I was met by the beautiful Stephanie, who I think is chair, but is too modest to admit to it. I also met Alan, Sylvia, Phil and many other interesting writers who are having various successes, including one author whose name I have sadly forgotten, who has written a book called LOVE IN A HAYSTACK, which I think is a fabulous title. We had a few laughs in between the serious question and answer session about writing and getting books published. They were lovely people and I hope I was able to help some of them.

I say, there’s WIZARD OF OZ on the telly this afternoon. I’ve seen it several times but there is something quite magical about it. The queen is going to record it. It’ll be something to watch on a dreary evening when there is only rubbish to watch.

Now I really must get back to writing my own book. What I need is discipline. There is simply too much to do. But come back soon, for more ramblings from this old writer.

2009-10-25T11:14:00.000Z

Sunday October 25th 2009

Ah, there you are.

Sunday last it was the northern regional meeting and luncheon of the Crime Writers’ Association which was held in a posh hotel. The following Monday morning I was ill. I won’t bore you with the symptoms, but they didn’t involve the sweet smell of violets, a vision in diaphanous underwear or the resonance of gentle music from a stringed quintet. Oh no!

Anyway, this morning, I have been bustled out of bed at the queen’s insistence to turn the central heating clock back an hour. And while I was in the perpendicular position, I peered at the garden from the bathroom window, had a good scratch, wandered into the study, went through the post and switched on the computer … and here I am.

Well, as soon as I am fit, I will write you more. I don’t quite know where I am. My new Angel book has gone completely to pot. All I can remember is that some poor soul in a railway ticket office gets murdered on page 2.

Anyway, I’ll get cracking as soon as I am fit. Come back soon if you can put up with more ramblings from this old writer.

2009-09-30T07:41:00.002+01:00

30th September 2009

There you are. Where have you been?

This is publication day of THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM. Whoopee! This is the 14th Angel book. Whoever would have thought it?
It is also the day the queen and I set on one side for doing the shopping, so we shall be doing Tescos et al as normal today, and tomorrow - we are going out to the pub to celebrate with a terrific haddock and chips.

This afternoon, I reckon it will take an hour or two retuning our three televisions. The clever people out there say it’s easy, so I don’t expect it will be. If you’re one of the gifted people and do yours easily, why don’t you pop next door and offer to help them with theirs? Then you can call here and do ours.

Come back soon.

2009-09-18T10:18:00.002+01:00

September 18th 2009

It’s been accepted. My latest book THE SNUFF BOX MURDERS has been accepted by the publishers and should be out in 2010. Received the letter this morning. And they said some very complimentary things about it, too. But, you know me. I’m far too modest to repeat them. (Let it never be said that I blow my own trumpet). But I am absolutely thrilled, and as my kind readers in the US might say in similar circumstances, ‘It’s awesome.’

Do you know, I feel like going to the fridge and opening a new bottle of lemonade. But I won’t. It’s too cold. THE SNUFF BOX MURDERS will be the 16th Angel book, and my diary notes tell me I started writing it on Tuesday, February 17th that’s nearly 7 months … seems more like 7 years. Anyway, now I’ve started another Angel book. I have a hot plot cooking.

Don’t forget. I’ve a new book coming out on September 30th. It’s called THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM. It’s a hoot. There are cuckoo clocks all over Bromersley. Angel sees them in all the crooks’ and villains’ houses, but he doesn’t know why. There should be copies in your library by the 30th. If there isn’t, smile sweetly at the lady and ask her if she’ll get one for you. She probably will, and she’ll probably smile back as well. Amazon have them in stock.

Barnsley library is very good to me. I remember going in there for a particular book, late last year. I couldn’t remember the title, the author or the publisher. The two ladies behind the counter looked at me with a blank expression. I felt a right Charlie. I told them the book was published in the 1920s or 1930s. I knew that. I told them a bit about the plot, and blow me! in about two minutes, they came up with the book I was after. It wasn’t on the shelves, but hidden away in the attic for some reason. Anyway, they stamped it, processed my other four books, and had me outside the library on Shambles Street, heading back to the car before I had time to say that I’d left my specs and a packet with two pieces of fresh haddock on a table in the reference room.

Anyway, now I’ve started writing another Angel book, I’d better get back to it.
Come back soon, for more ramblings from of an old writer.

2009-09-15T15:03:00.003+01:00

September 15th 2009

I’m sat here like a hen sat on an egg, waiting to see if the publishers are going to accept the new Angel book I have submitted, THE SNUFF BOX MURDERS.

I already had a super plot idea in mind, so I’ve started another book. I have written the opening – a page and a half - which seems all right and I think, suitably intriguing, but I can’t think of a sub-plot, and that’s winding me up a bit. If it doesn’t come to me soon, I might paste and save what I have written somewhere, and instead, write a short story I have been carrying at the back of my mind, which I believe is ideal for a Sherlock Holmes pastiche. But I really don’t want to break away from writing about Angel. That’s what everybody seems to want and expects from me.

Now that I am between books, so to speak, I phoned my dear, old friend, the retired priest I have written about earlier in this diary. He is now 92¾, he was quick to remind me. I was ringing him to arrange to pick him up and take him to our favorite country pub for a meal and a drink together. He has always looked forward to that, as he doesn’t walk very well and didn’t therefore get out much. But sadly, much to my surprise and disappointment, he didn’t want to know. He was most gracious, but he really didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. Not even a run in the country in the car. (He’s never been a car owner, himself) …. He explained that now he’s not keen to leave the tiny flat where he lives on his own. He said he feels confident there. He said that anyway, he can’t now comfortably wear shoes … slippers are the order of the day. He said he couldn’t eat much. He’s not very hungry, he said and his tummy is soon full. He would leave most of any meal. I said that it didn’t matter at all, but he wouldn’t have it. He said that he’d be embarrassed. There were probably other reasons, which he may have been unwilling to go into. In the end, I had to give in. I asked him if it would it be all right if I visited him. That seemed to be acceptable. Is there anything you would like me to bring with me? No thank you, Roger. I have everything I need. Just bring yourself, whenever you like.
I will, I said. Very soon. I am worried about him. 92¾ is a great age.

If you have a relation, friend or neighbour who is over 90, tell me what they like to do, what they like to eat and drink, where they like to go, what they like to see, and so on ... I am sure it would be most interesting. Email me at angeldetective@uwclub.net. I would always be pleased to hear from you and I might be able to include an extract of your letter in my next diary entry.

I say, this morning I bought ten ordinary 150 watt lamps for £19.90, that £1.99 each. The shop said that they had plenty and still expected to have stock up to 12 months from now … that is until they sell out, or the manufacturer stopped making them. I am pleased about that. I should have at least a year before I need worry about falling over the cat when going in the kitchen to make our night time cocoa or breaking my neck tripping up in the dark corner on the stairs when going to bed.

Come back soon if you can put up with more ramblings from this old writer.

2009-09-10T07:57:00.001+01:00

September 10th 2009

Hello there. Well, I know I’ve been a bit quiet this last two or three weeks. It’s because I have been finishing another Angel book. And it’s a time when I do tend to get rather intense … worrying about the pernickety details of the plot working out right, and whether the characters are well rounded, original and interesting … And I worry about whether you’ll enjoy it or not … and whether the publishers will accept it or not. They’ve never declined one yet, but it could happen. We worriers worry about everything.

Well, I finished it last night, printed it off this morning and the queen is downstairs reading it right now. I don’t discuss the storyline or the characters in the book with her when I’m actually writing. She likes it to come to her completely fresh. However, I often discuss grammar and the colloquial meaning of words and things like that. Well, she’s far clever that I am. (I am sure she’s right because she keeps telling me what a fool I am). I accept that she’s better educated. She was streets ahead of me at school and college. She got a distinction in French, and played the violin like an angel. In fact, if Nigel Kennedy had heard her play ‘Flight of the Bumble Bee,’ he would have chopped up his violin and become a male model.

I’ve titled the new book THE SNUFF BOX MURDERS, but that could change. If it is accepted, it’ll not be for publication until next year. I am very excited about it, but I can’t say anymore. The publishers don’t like me saying too much about a new title before it is released.

Incidentally, the last three weeks I have been able to write in a lot more comfort, because, for our wedding anniversary, the queen bought me a posh chair for my little den. Those who know me well will know that I had back trouble twenty years ago, and like Brideshead, it came back again in 2004. Since then, I have been writing, resting on the bed, on my left side, elbow on the pillows, on a laptop on a sloping table and tapping the keyboard with one finger. I did that for four years … wrote eight books like that. However, after all that time, that position caused me to develop pain in the shoulder. After numerous injections and consultations, the doc said that I must change my writing position. Now that my back was so much better, she said, I should try to sit up at a desk as normal but in a comfortable super duper padded adjustable swivel back chair.
I was unsure about it. Anyway, at enormous expense, the queen has bought me, an all singing all dancing, fully adjustable, multi padded, twelve cylinder diesel chair with integral microwave, toaster, 16 free channels and automatic 12 second flush. Now I sit upright and tap away like Fred Astaire, hopefully not aggravating shoulder or back. So please keep your fingers crossed … it would we be wonderful for me if it works.
Now I know the cynical of you will be saying, ‘That’s OK but what have you bought the queen?’ Well, all right, the truth will out. I haven’t bought her anything yet, but as soon as she makes up her mind, I will get it for her. She can have anything she wants. I’ve told her that, and I mean it. I draw the line at anything that’s both big and alive though. She knows that I won’t shell out for a couple of elephants. Or even a little one on its own.

I had a good bit of news yesterday morning in the post. I was told that my book WILD ABOUT HARRY is going to be recorded to be accessible to the blind and anyone who wants to buy it or borrow it from a library. I do hope they get a Northern voice to record it. I write my books as I feel and I think any other accent but Yorkshire wouldn’t sound the genuine article, if you know what I mean. The CDs should be out in the libraries and shops in a couple of month’s or so.

Moving on …
What are we going to do about these new electric lamps? We have been led like innocent lambs into this green environment lark. I wasn’t consulted. Were you? I have a few of these monstrosities in the house that give off a dirty creamy glow. I tried one. Last winter, it made my den seem like a Victorian outside lavatory. They have mostly been given as free gifts by power companies who couldn’t get shut of them. Frankly I don’t know what to do. I have to confess that most of the important lights in the house are currently 150 watt. We wouldn’t be able to see around the room safely with anything less powerful.
The two lamps at each side of the bed are 60 watt spot bulbs. Now spot bulbs reflect the light from the back of the lamp, which is usually wasted, to the front. So for a small area, up to about a yard away, spot lamps work perfectly satisfactorily for small work. I don’t know if these lamps are also to be banned by the European ruling.
But how are people with defective eyesight going to manage? I have a friend who can only see out of one eye… and not very well at that. He doesn’t know how he’ll manage.
I notice all the big houses round about are still keeping their powerful all night outside security lights on. I don’t blame them for that, but how will they be able to buy replacement lamps? Maybe I’ll ask them and then go down and get a stock in hand.
‘We are listening to you,’ these politicians say. But they aren’t. It’s just so much guff. Nobody ever listens to us, do they? It’s all a con. This new law has not been thought out properly or fully. We are being ruled by idiots. Overpaid idiots. And it’s been like this for years.

The government took us into a war we don’t need, didn’t want, and didn’t seek, and today, our troops are fighting in the wrong country. We should be punching Al Quaeda out of Pakistan.

The banning of smoking in public places has seriously damaged people’s social lives, and is an interference with our liberty. That law was a step too far. Pubs are closing in their hundreds. I have heard all the arguments and the anti smokers have a good case, but it is wrong in a free country to make such absolute laws without thinking of all the consequences. I should add that I neither smoke nor drink, but I did my share until ten years ago. But, do you know, a strange thing …. I could just smoke a Benson and Hedges right now!
Help!!!

Come back soon if you can put up with more from the ramblings of an old writer.

If you’ve any bright ideas or comments you’d like to say about this diary, or anything else for that matter, email me at angeldetective@uwclub.net. I would be pleased to hear from you and I might include an extract of your letter in my next diary entry. Then again, because I am not a politician, I might not.

2009-08-22T10:32:00.003+01:00

August 22nd 2009

Hello there. Now I know I owe you an apology for not keeping this diary going the way I should have done. You regulars expect a paragraph or two every day. I will try and do better, but the truth is that old enemy, time.

I have been working hard on my current Angel book which is taking me longer than usual because, friends, the book will be longer than usual. The big white chief at Hales, the publishers, said my next Angel book needed to be 20% longer to match up with a new format they have devised to give a better deal to readers of their ‘Hale Crime’ series.

I am writing this diary today because frankly, I need a breather. I have to review the plot and make sure it is coming out right. The only way I can do that is to read it phrase by phrase from the beginning again. Anybody who tells you writing is easy doesn’t know what they are talking about. Of course it’s easier on the spine than cutting out a face of coal, or on the feet and legs serving behind a deli in Tescos for eight hours at at stretch, or on the eyes and nerves excising an appendix and tying off the bowel through a keyhole incision. But as my back is strong enough to keep me sitting upright, my feet and legs to keep me walking about, and I had my appendix out years ago, writing I can manage just fine. How I ever finish writing a book though, I’ll never know.

Got an invitation to speak to the Writers’ Group at Doncaster Central Library in October or November. Just working out the details with Alan Archer, their right hon. sec. If you’d like to attend in Doncaster, or you want to contact me, my address is angeldetective@uwclub.net. I would always be pleased to hear from you.

Well those who could afford a holiday I reckon will have had theirs. If you are among them, I hope you managed to go abroad or if at home chose rain free days. The queen and I often talk about a trip we had in July up in Ullapool about ten or fifteen years ago in our motorhome. We parked on a great site at the front close by the water and it rained for 36 hours non-stop. It wasn’t a storm. The rate of water coming down didn’t change. It was as if God had turned on a million hosepipes over us, set them on medium fine spray and then left them to run while he went to watch the Aussies play for the Ashes.

I hope you will enjoy the sun while it is warm, and all the flowers and trees it helps to grow. Summer is a great time, we must make the most of it.

Please come back soon for more ramblings from of an old writer.

2009-07-11T11:19:00.002+01:00

July 11th 2009

Hello there, Playmates. Welcome back.

I had a great time with the ladies group at Emmanuel Church on Huddersfield Road in Barnsley on Wednesday evening last. I spoke about how I started writing and the adventures of Inspector Angel. The ladies asked a lot of questions and then told me what they looked for in a good crime novel. They also confirmed what I already thought about books laden with foul language. There’s a place for them and it isn’t in Barnsley. We had a few good laughs and an enjoyable evening. They say they’re asking me back later this year. That’s nice, isn’t it?

Yesterday I was busy book signing in Sheffield’s OXFAM Bookstore. I met some delightful people and made a few pounds for OXFAM. I also enjoyed some very interesting but - of necessity - hurried conversations with some of Oxfam’s many disparate customers, and was surprised at the wide range of interests the shop caters for, from Spiderman to Darwin. The delightful manager there, Darren Vogelsang has invited me back in the autumn, so I must be doing something right.

Do you know, my old watch went funny about three years ago. So being near Christmas, the queen dragged me into a jewellers shop to buy one for me, bless her, as if I couldn’t buy one myself.
Anyway, this jeweller had watches on offer from £4.99 to £10,000. Well, I didn’t want an expensive one in case I lost or damaged it. Those under £25.00 tended to be gaudy plastic coloured jobs which I didn’t fancy. She wanted me to have something really expensive, but I was amazed to find out from the jeweller that a watch costing £25 tells the time just as accurately as a £10,000 one. You would have thought that for all that extra money, it would have told you better time, wouldn’t you? But the jeweller told me quite clearly that the time on the £25 watch was exactly the same as that on the £10,000 one. And he showed me them side by side to prove the point. He couldn’t even say that it kept the time for a longer period or that it slowed the good time down so that you got more time for your money. I wondered if I could do a deal with him to have one of his £10,000 watches for an extra years’ worth of time. But no. It was then that I started losing him, if you know what I mean. The queen told me that I should go and see if the car was parked safely. I said all right, but I told her not to spend more that £25.00 and I would be highly chuffed, then I came out of the shop to look for the car.
Of course she bought the watch I liked at £25.00 but also had it fitted with a spring loaded gold coloured wristlet that she also knew that I liked. But she wouldn’t tell me what that cost!
Anyway, I was delighted with it. It kept spot on time, the dial was easy to read, and in every way, it was perfect. However, on Tuesday last it stopped. I was surprised. The queen immediately said take it back to the shop, which I did. Fortunately, it was not the man who served us three years ago. It was a pretty young lady. She glanced at it and said could I come back for it in about an hour. I thought that was quick, but I went back in the hour and was surprised to find it working and telling the right time.
‘Is it all right?’ I said.
‘Oh yes,’ the shop assistant said brightly.
‘How much is it?’ I said.
The shop assistant smiled. ‘There’s no charge,’ she said.
I blinked. I wasn’t used to hearing those three old fashioned, heart warming words. ‘Why?’ I said.
‘All it needed was a battery, Mr Silverwood, and we supply and fit batteries free on all watches sold by us.’
I had to sit down on one of their free chairs and have a sip of their free water.

Take care and come back soon.

2009-06-16T08:53:00.000+01:00

June 16th 2009

Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine. I’m busy with all sorts of interesting diversions.

The manager of the OXFAM bookshop at 276 Glossop Road in Sheffield has asked me to do a book signing on Friday, July 10th at 12 noon, to help the fundraising. Of course I am delighted to do that. Please come and meet me, buy a book or put a few quid in the box. OXFAM is such a worthy cause. Did you know that 1 in 5 people in Britain live below the official poverty level? I don’t know why past and present governments haven’t dealt with it. Prime Ministers of all political colours have said that they are dealing with it, but they simply don’t. But they allow people in government and industry and commerce to swindle the exchequer, which is you and me and more importantly the poor, out of millions. And it’s been going on for years. It’s simply not good enough. I get really worked up about this. Apart from flexing our muscles at election time, what more can we do? If anybody sends me a good letter answering that question, I will publish it here. And I will withhold your name and address or not as you wish. The address for all your emails to me is <angeldetective@uwclub.net>.

We’d better move on while I cool down.
I have also been invited to talk about ... how I started writing and where it has taken me ... at the Ladies Group at the Emmanuel Church, Huddersfield Road, Barnsley at 7.30 on Wednesday evening, the 8th July. That’s nice, isn’t it? Pop in if you are near. I’d love to meet you.

I hope you are going off on holiday this summer. A change of scene and a bit of sunshine does us all a bit of good.
We won’t be going anywhere. The queen isn’t as mobile as she was but we will enjoy the garden. I don’t mind, as it gives me more time to write and avoids all that messing about packing and unpacking and the stressful business of keeping to times set by other people.

Whatever you’re doing, enjoy the summer...

And come back here soon.

2009-05-27T06:33:00.003+01:00

May 27th 2009

There you are.

Sorry I’ve been longer than usual, but I fell into the trap. I could see it coming but I couldn’t stop myself. I had managed to avoid it for a few years now, but in a weak moment I was caught and I succumbed and agreed. You see, I have always boasted that the queen can have anything she wants. And she can. She’s already got everything (everything that can be bought with money, that is), so it wasn’t a difficult commitment to make. But she thought of something she said we needed and, at first, I didn’t know what it could possibly be. She was of course referring to DDD, the Dreaded Disease of Decorating. And of all places, she wanting doing, was the kitchen. Yes, the kitchen ... the hub of domestic comfort and organization of the house.
Well, I wished I had emigrated.
For a start, we had quotes from all over the place and, of course, finished up with the dearest!
She had me running up and down looking for wallpaper. Not that colour, not that with roses. I like that Italian style with a jug and plate on it, she said. Not that. It looks old fashioned. That one is too modern. Who wants paper designed using a motif of squares and triangles? That cream one. Might as well get white, it’ll be cream soon enough! Too cheap, she said. How much is it a roll?
Fifty pence? Eighty pence? Oh no. Surely not a pound?
More than a pound?
Twenty pounds? she said.
For the whole room?
No. A roll. Twenty pounds a roll!
It has to be waterproof you see.
Yes, but does it have to keep out the North Sea? I asked
And it didn’t finish there, did it? We had to have plasterers in to tidy up a damp corner and while they were here, they replastered an entire wall in the pantry.
There’s more.
The queen said that the big kitchen cupboards screwed to the wall are a bit too high. A bit too high. After 38 years, a bit too high?
Could they be lowered?
Could they be lowered?
Lucky old Roger. They couldn’t be lowered because there was an electric socket in the way. And no, the electric socket could not be moved.
Well, you’ve got to put your foot down somewhere.

Anyway, the decorators came and went like a barium enema.
The kitchen looks lovely and clean. They’ve broken the TV aerial and banged the kitchen TV about that much so that I can’t get a picture anymore. And the new DAB radio is all spotted with white Dulux. And they’ve hidden the wall clock. I think they’ve papered over it.

What's more important to me is that they’ve also put a stop to my book. I can’t write with people running in and out like MPs at the Fees Office. Also I can’t stand the distraction of the smell of paint and a big bill hovering over my head, like that. This happened to me last year, I remember. I can’t recall what it was, but it took me a month to get my mind back into the right atmosphere and pick up the plot.
If the queen has a rush of blood and this daft idea comes up again, I have threatened to leave home, and stay in a posh hotel on a warm tropical island to write until the agony is over.

Moving on ...
I got an email from Jack Lindsey who lives near Stratford-On-Avon. He was a copper in Mexborough. (That’s about ten miles from here). I know Mexborough as having a great hospital there, the Montague, which relieved me of great pain in my back a couple of years ago. A surgeon used a specialised technique incorporating X ray and pain relieving injections. It is absolute magic.

Jack began criticising some of the things I had the pathologist do in IN THE MIDST OF LIFE. Also he pointed out that police cars now have blue lights flashing on their tops in emergency conditions not amber, as I had written. I’m sure he’s quite correct. Also he doesn’t have much of a good opinion of people from Barnsley. But he sugared the pill by saying, ‘My wife Mary and I are both avid readers of yours and find it difficult to discover an author that we both enjoy. Inspector Angel is a real gem and Mary sits there chuckling at your descriptive phrases.’

That’s nice, isn’t it? I shall tell Angel next time I see him.

Enjoy the rain, and come back soon.

2009-05-09T11:49:00.002+01:00

May 9th 2009

Thanks for coming back.

I say, on Monday last, I was working away on my laptop as usual, when it started making a strange ticking noise, then an information box came up on the screen that I didn’t understand. I never understand what it says in those boxes anyway. They’re written by chimpanzees crossed with computer geeks who live in boxes like battery hens underground in California. They are thrown bananas and sugar-coated pep pills every six hours. Anyway, among other things, it said that I had done something illegal. Well, I haven’t done anything illegal for years!
Anyway, I quickly stuck a memory stick into the thing and fortunately saved all my work.
I couldn’t close the laptop down in the conventional way. The machine wouldn’t have it. It kept throwing up more information boxes full of threats, insults and telling me that I needed permission to do certain things.
These days I do pretty well what I want ... I don’t reckon I need anybody’s permission ... except maybe the queen’s.
Anyway, I switched off the electric at the plug, pulled out the cable, pulled the wire out of the transformer socket and the one out of the machine, but it still kept on throwing out orders, information and telling me I was doing everything wrong. That’s nothing new. I’ve known that for years. The little lights on the outside of the case kept blinking furiously showing me that things were desperate.
I knew there was a battery in it somewhere, so I turned it upside down. It didn’t like that – and sent out a groan. I quickly found the compartment where the battery was hidden and after a struggle with two catches that you have to operate simultaneously, managed to take it out. The laptop made a small hopeless resurgence for a second or two, then its lights went out, the screen went to black and it finally expired on the table in front of me.

That was that. It was caput. And so I was out of work. I needed a laptop, and I needed it straightaway. I dashed into town and had a quick look round, saw over fifty different models and came home with a beauty. New design. Fully guaranteed. Ideal for a writer. Every feature you can think of. Programmed ready. Just plug it in. As the man said, all I had to do was press the keys. It was so up to date, it would practically write the stuff for me! Magic.

I got it unpacked and followed the simple diagram enclosed to set it up. Then switched it on. Big screen. Lots of colour. Great sounds. It was like Wonderland. But to my horror I discovered that everything had changed. And I mean everything. I had been using a computer every day for about twelve years and suddenly I was lost. I couldn’t find anything that I understood. All the sequences had been changed and all the names of the moves had been changed, the jargon had changed. Only the mouse was the same. I am plodding through and with help from James who looks after the website I am disciplining the great monster and trying to get back to writing my book.

To something else ...
I had a super surprise in the post this morning. A voucher copy of MURDER IN BARE FEET in audio. It’s chiefly for the blind or registered blind, of course. It was recorded by the actor, Jonathan Keeble, who has recorded many other writers books ... he does Reginald Hill’s DALZIEL AND PASCO and others, so I am in good company.
I listened to a bit of it and it sounded just great. I understand it is out in the libraries and shops now.

You’re going to get more Angel in future. The publisher is changing the format of the Angel books to make them 30% bigger. I will therefore be writing the stories appropriately longer, which will be much better. I will have more space in which to develop the plot. And, for the same money, you will get more Angel. As I write this, I have just realised, everybody wins, except me. I won’t be getting any more money!

Got to go. You wouldn’t believe it. The queen wants me. Unusual. There’s a nasty smell on the patio. Grant, who does our garden has lifted an inspection cover and found that the drains are blocked. Will I do something about it? Yes. Find a plumber.

I’ll never get back to writing my book.

If you can stand the tension, come back soon.

2009-04-29T16:04:00.004+01:00

April 30th 2009

Zipperty do dah, zipperty hay. My, oh my, what a wonderful day. This is the day my latest book, WILD ABOUT HARRY, my 13th Detective Inspector Angel story is being published. It also marks the winner of the competition for the best entry of a celebrity, over 80, who is still regularly working. I have had so many entries that I feel I should give more than one prize, but I’m not going to.

As a late entry, the queen has come up with Pete Seeger, who is 90 on May 3rd, and is playing in a huge concert in the US on that day to celebrate. I can add it to the list, but I can’t award the prize to her, can I? It would be a right twist. Besides the house is full of books. She has a free entitlement to a half interest in any book in the place. In fact, she has a half interest in everything in the house. She says that her solicitor told her so!

So the winner I have chosen is Simon Wellman from Leeds who submitted the name of Nicholas Parsons who is an amazing 85. Simon! A signed copy of WILD ABOUT HARRY, is on its way to you, with many thanks.

There were older celebrities submitted by you lovely people, but they had been already suggested by Alan Titchmarsh, or the celebrities were not British, and I thought the competition should have been confined to Brits, although I didn’t say so, (with apologies to my readers in the US and elsewhere). I do hope you think that I have been fair.

The complete and amazing list of celebrities, believed to be over 80 and regularly working, submitted by reader's of this column is…

Betty Turpin 88 years
Peter Sallis 88 years
Liz Smith 87 years
Dora Bryan 85 years
Robert Hardy 84 years
Angela Lansbury 83 years
Jean Alexander 83 years
Geoffrey Palmer 82 years
June Brown 82 years
Bruce Forsyth 81 years
David Attenborough 83
David Jacobs 82
Lauren Bacall 85
Honor Blackman 81 or 82
Andy Williams 81
Sir Jimmy Savile 82
Les Paul 93
B B King 83
Leslie Phillips 85
June Whitfield 83
Nicholas Parsons 85
Pete Seeger 89

Well, it’s been a lot of fun and quite revealing to find so many lovely old people still working, but the competition is, sadly, closed.

About something entirely different …

Can I let off a bit of steam?
My car insurance is coming up for renewal, and it’s £36 dearer than last year. I don’t like prices going up like that. I haven’t had an accident or anything.
Well, you know those heavily advertised comparison websites, where you submit the details of your car and the drivers and so on, and they automatically come up with cheaper insurance offers? In some of their ads, I’ve heard grinning actors say, ‘I saved £170.’ ‘I saved £200.’ ‘I saved £90.’
Well, I spent 20 minutes submitting all the details of the car, the queen, the house, my marital status, my occupation, my age, my sex, even told them what side of the bed I sleep on, and the result was two quotes … one, £126 more than my present insurer and the other £180 more. Then I phoned two other famous high street names directly for a quote and both were also dearer, so needless to say, I re-insured with my present insurer. Well, what would you have done?
But that was about an hour’s writing time lost by their persistent (and in my case, wasted) advertising.
In that one hour, I could have written about five paragraphs of my new Angel book, deleted four of them and pruned the other down to two sentences. And tomorrow morning, I could condense those two sentences into one, and then tomorrow night, if those sentences were full of unnecessary description, I could delete them, because nobody reads description anymore.

How I ever finish writing a book, I’ll never know.

Come back soon for more ramblings from of an old writer.

2009-04-18T14:43:00.004+01:00

April 18th 2009

Glad you came back.

Have you ever wondered what it must have been like to have been the small boy who saved his country from sinking under the sea by sticking his finger in a hole in the dyke? Must have felt really good. Made the boy seem important for once in his life. Well I had an experience a bit like that last Thursday. You see the head interviewing honcho at BBC Radio in Sheffield, Roney Robinson, a sort of cross between Dr Anthony Clare and Jeremy Paxman, had a slack half hour in his programme to fill. His troops had arranged for some poor soul to be interviewed but the interviewee had apparently taken fright at short notice and cried off, so they had a half an hour to fill at very short notice, so they phoned me.

‘Would you do it? Can you be here for two o’clock?’
‘Yes. Of course,’ I said, ‘I’ll do it.’

Well, it all started very well. I was met by a delightful producer lady, all smiles, fingernails, high heels and a cup of BBC tea in a BBC pot. When I got into the studio itself, there he was, Mr Robinson, hair sleeked back and wearing a khaki jungle suit. He was talking away, pressing buttons and sliding faders as slick as a Las Vegas croupier spinning a roulette wheel to a packed table of punters. Slaves kept running in and out with cups of tea, sealed envelopes, and bits of paper with secret writing on them. Messages kept popping up on CCTV screens. A red light behind him kept bobbing on and off erratically. It was all a bit unnerving.

Roney Robinson started off being charm personified, but slyly introduced questions such as, ‘How old are you?’ and ‘How long have you been married?’ and ‘Are you rich or mega rich?’ and subtle stuff like that. He asked me where I lived, and whooped with delight to hear that my house was smaller than his.

News reports and travel information were being interspersed throughout the interview so that I never quite knew whether our chat was being broadcast or it was merely private between the two of us. That’s how he caught me. There’s no time to think, you see. It’s live. You reply. It’s transmitted to the listening millions and then it’s on record.

I had prepared stories about my childhood, such as how I set fire to the bedroom curtains when I was only three or four, and how my parents moved house without telling me and when I got back from school I didn’t know where they had gone to (true!), and ditties like that, but he didn’t ask me about my early life. I also wanted to tell him all about my books and Angel’s success both here and in the States, but he hardly gave me a chance. Anyway, the time soon passed and it was all over. He said that I had done well. Frankly, I came out of the studio a bit dazed. The producer lady with a big smile also said I had done well. I beamed. I’m a real sucker for a bit of smarm. I felt warm all over, and I drove home singing, ‘Onward Christian Soldiers.’ But, you know, thinking about it now, I know that I had said far too much.

Anyway, can’t do anything about it.

Now about other things …

Did you see the piece in the Daily Telegraph on March 29th?

‘Reading can help reduce stress’

‘And it works better and faster than other methods to calm frazzled nerves such as listening to music, going for a walk or settling down with a cup of tea, research found.

‘Psychologists believe this is because the human mind has to concentrate on reading and the distraction of being taken into a literary world eases the tensions in muscles and the heart.

Reading can reduce stress levels by 68%, according to the University of Sussex research.’

It’s absolutely true, if you get a really good book. Don’t you agree?

Moving on …

I’ve had more entries in the competition, but only three names are valid. One is from Joseph Herries, an ex pat living in the town of Mandeville in Jamaica, in the West Indies. (This blog gets everywhere). He remembers from old films, Leslie Phillips, who is 84. Well done, Joseph.
A lady, she doesn’t indicate anything more than her name, Mary Cleary from near Aberdeen, reminds us that June Whitfield is still hard at work and is 83. Also Simon Wellman from Leeds submits Nicholas Parsons who is an amazing 85.

They are all valid and added to the list.

Unfortunately, I am still getting names of celebrities who have sadly died or retired. Remember, the entries have to be celebrities, over 80, and still working. The competition closes on April 30th. For the most interesting addition or additions, I’ll send the winner a copy of my latest book, WILD ABOUT HARRY, which is to be published on April 30th. I’ll even write in it if you want me to. My email address is <angeldetective@uwclub.net> Good luck.

The full valid list so far is

Betty Turpin 88
Peter Sallis 88
Liz Smith 87
Dora Bryan 85
Robert Hardy 84
Angela Lansbury 83
Jean Alexander 83
Geoffrey Palmer 82
June Brown 82 years
Bruce Forsyth 81
David Attenborough 83
David Jacobs 82
Lauren Bacall 85
HonorBlackman 81 or 82
Andy Williams 81
Sir Jimmy Savile 82
Les Paul 93
B B King 83
Leslie Phillips 84
June Whitfield 83
Nicholas Parsons 85
The competition closes on April 30th.
It’s always nice to hear from you. Keep submitting. See you soon.

2009-04-07T07:25:00.003+01:00

April 7th 2008

Hello puzzlers.

Had lots of entries of celebrities who are already on the list - please see last three diary entries.
Had an an entry from James Corbett of Barnsley. His entry was David "Honey Boy" Edwards who is 94. Now I've never heard of him. I told James that I didn't think he could fairly be regarded as a a 'celebrity' if I'd never heard of him. James hinted that I must live in the dark ages. I think if six people tell me that he's a celebrity, I'll put him on the list, otherwise he stays off. That's fair isn't it?

Easter will soon be here. Oh the glories of chocolate!

See you soon.

2009-04-04T13:49:00.002+01:00

April 4th 2009

The competition is hotting up. More names have come in …

David Attenborough 83
David Jacobs 82
Lauren Bacall 85
Honor Blackman 81 or 82
Andy Williams 81
Sir Jimmy Savile 82
Les Paul 93

I’ve had Les Paul aged 93 submitted by fellow author, Shirley Wells. Plays the guitar. Used to work with Mary Ford. This must be the oldest celebrity so far.

Elaine of Wombwell submitted the man on our doorstep, Sir Jimmy Savile. Fancy me not thinking of him.

Keep submitting.

Nice to hear from you.

2009-04-02T08:23:00.002+01:00

April 2nd 2009

Replies to the competition are pouring in, but the only additional acceptable entry so far is B B King who is 83 and is still touring. That’s from Sue of Stocks Lane. Great stuff! Sue says, ‘Age is just a number.’ Quite right too.

Remember, for the most interesting addition or additions, I’ll send you a copy of my latest book WILD ABOUT HARRY which is to be published on April 30th. I’ll even write in it if you want me to. My email address is angeldetective@uwclub.net.

Adrian in Berlin suggested the Queen. Well, she is over 80, she’s still working, but she’s not a celebrity, she's a VIP.

I am even getting suggestions of celebrities who have retired or have died, or who simply aren’t over 80. Entries must be of celebrities, over 80 years and still working.

Keep submitting. Love to hear from you.

2009-03-28T15:13:00.003Z

March 28th 2009

Ah, there you are.

I am very proud to know a dear man who is 92 years. He is a widower and has eight children (5 stepchildren and 3 his own). We go out for lunch every few months or so. He doesn’t walk very well but we all take our time. He enjoys a pint of real ale and tells us amusing stories about his first job as a humble clerk for Tate’s, the sugar people in the East End of London. He wanted to become a parish priest, so he left the office and went into a seminary. After many struggles, he eventually he got a living in the ship building area of Govan in Glasgow and then later he served in beautiful Campbeltown on the road down to the Mull of Kintyre. He married a widow (a lovely dear lady) who already had 5 children and he had three more with her. Years later he served in Barnsley in the 70’s, where he retired ten years later. He never owned or drove a car but managed well enough on a bicycle. His mode of transport lately, which he jokingly calls ‘the car,’ is a three wheel electric invalid scooter. He has a great sense of humour and is always searching the conversation for puns. I remember a joke he told me last time I saw him. It went like this:

There was a family of cannibals sat round the stewpot with a fire underneath. It was mealtime and one of the children said, ‘I’m not hungry. I can’t eat anymore.’Mother said, ‘All right. You can leave your grandmother, but you must eat your potatoes.’

After he told it, his face creased up with laughter. He’s a lovely man. And he never grumbles.

Anyway, by happenstance, the queen was watching the Alan Titchmarsh chat show on afternoon telly a couple of days ago, which made her sit up and take notice. She told me afterwards, it was about actors and actresses who are still working. Several names and their ages were mentioned, I’ve added a few more …

Betty Turpin 88 years
Peter Sallis 88 years
Liz Smith 87 years
Dora Bryan 85 years
Robert Hardy 84 years
Angela Lansbury 83 years
Jean Alexander 83 years
Geoffrey Palmer 82 years
June Brown 82 years
Bruce Forsyth 81 years

Isn’t it fabulous? Do you know of any more famous people who are, say over 80 and still working? Send their names and ages to me (they must be famous and still working) and for the most interesting addition or additions, I’ll send you a copy of my latest book WILD ABOUT HARRY which is to be published on April 30th. I’ll even write in it if you want me to. My email address is <angeldetective@uwclub.net> Good luck.

Thanks for looking in. I’ll get back to you soon.

2009-02-26T15:13:00.002Z

February 26th 2009

Hello there …
I have just heard that the publishers have accepted my new Angel book, SHRINE TO MURDER. This is the fifteenth book in the Angel series.
Blow the trumpets. Bang the drum. Put out the red carpet. The Milky Bars are on me! Somebody up there likes me, or is it Inspector Angel they like?
I haven’t got an official publication date yet, but it will likely be December this year or January 2010.

Less pleasing, I had to have a barium enema at the hospital on Monday afternoon.
No solid grub for the one and a half days before the enema … just jelly, consommé, tea and coffee without milk, and water. Absolutely nothing else. Not a lot of fun. They sent me all the detailed preparatory instructions including two pouches of a special laxative, which I had to mix carefully with water, stand well back, leave to stand for five minutes then drink it. It tasted of salty petrol. Well, about two hours later, I knew it had found its target. I think it’s the same stuff they use to power rockets to the moon.
Anyway, as Roy Barraclough asked Les Dawson on his return from his holiday to Athens, ‘Did you get on the Acropolis?’ And the comedian famously replied, ‘I was never off it.’
Well, I was never off our Acropolis.
Anyway, on Monday afternoon, I went to the hospital, went through ‘the procedure’ … it wasn’t so bad. It took about an hour. I returned home and since then I have been back on a normal diet. But it’s now Thursday afternoon and I’m just working away … I’ve had no call to … go back to visit our Acropolis.
It’s all a bit worrying … I’ve heard these stories about doctors doing operations and leaving a retractor or a scalpel inside the patient … I wonder if they’ve left anything up there? I've just remembered, a very rude man once said something to me. I wonder if one of those doctors was him in disguise, and there's a manuscript of one of my books causing the blockage?

Thanks for looking in. I’ll get back to you soon.

2009-02-16T08:35:00.003Z

February 16th 2009.

Last Wednesday, the queen stumbled coming down a step out of the pantry and hurt her leg. It was very painful for her to walk, so she rang our GP and asked him to have a look at her. He said an X ray was necessary so a hospital trip was unavoidable. He could organize an ambulance or we could make our own way to A & E. It was a struggle getting her in and out of the car, but we managed it, and after three hours waiting around in the hospital, the doctor pronounced that she had a damaged cartilage and that she must rest it for a few weeks! Weeks!!
Well I’m very sorry for her, bless her, and I know it hurts a heck of a lot, but who do you think is back on the old washing up, cooking and cat feeding routine?

Anyway, rejoice. I say rejoice and be exceeding glad because I have finished writing my 15th Angel book. Yes. And I have finally settled on the title – SHRINE TO MURDER. The book’s a bit scary and very different, but it’s fun. I hope my loyal band of followers will enjoy reading it. (It won’t be published before November at the earliest, and that’s assuming Hales accept it! The financial climate being what it is, who knows what to expect?)
I started printing the finished copy on my PC last night to submit it to the publishers, but it went wrong. It printed a few pages then started missing the top half of the letters across a full line, irregularly down the page. I phoned James, who looks after this website for suggestions. He suggested cleaning the heads, but I told him that I had done that several times: he was tending to think that the thing had printed off its last book narrative. I phoned Leigh who looks after my computers, and he thought the printer head had probably had it, but as a get me by, he suggested that I changed the Printing Preferences setting from ‘Text only’ to ‘Text and pictures.’ He said it would push more ink through and might work. It did work and seemed a great idea. However, after printing 5 or 6 pages it pushed too much ink through which meant that a untidy spider marks sometimes appeared on the page. Anyway, I have persevered and have finished up with a reasonably tidy and clean copy to submit to Hales.
I can’t be messing about like that so I’ve asked Leigh to kit me out with a laser printer which is supposed to be much more reliable and quicker. It only prints in black, but I reckon colours are for wimps, don’t you?
Of course, the queen has to read it first and give me her verdict. She is always very kind (too kind). She always says it’s good to encourage me and keep me happy, when it might be rubbish, so I have to take her opinion with a pinch of salt. But I can often tell by her questions, if I haven’t covered a point sufficiently well, or I haven’t reasonably or adequately explained something, or she simply doesn’t like it.

Hey! What do you think to the mild weather? Soon have to think of getting our cossies out again. Where’s the suntan?

Thanks for looking in. Wish me luck with the book. I’ll keep you posted, and get back to you soon.

2009-02-08T08:42:00.002Z

February 8th 2009

Hello there.

Is the white stuff getting you down?

We live in an old ostler’s house near the foot of the Pennines. It’s at the bottom of a steep lane, which makes access difficult in winter weather. We are surrounded by snow. On two sides its snow as far as you can see. It’s beautiful in sunshine but can be spooky when the sky comes dark. We haven’t been able to get out for five days. Had no post, and the dustbin men haven’t been. It’s been like so quiet. Unexpectedly on Thursday, there was a knock on the door. I couldn’t imagine who it was. I thought it might have been a passing reindeer who had lost his way, seeking directions to the North Pole, but no … it was a pretty lady called Vicky, who must be new to the big house further down the lane. She and her husband were going to tackle the hill on foot (sounds like the Eiger) and wondered if we needed anything from the shop. How very kind. Thankfully the queen had been very clever. We did an extra big shop last weekend in anticipation of a heavy snowfall, which has meant that we hadn't been short of anything during our forced isolation. But it was very kind of Vicky (whoever she is) though, wasn’t it?

I had been out each day to feed the wild birds and the feral cats, of course. Must look after them, particularly when there’s snow on the ground. But it has been very very quiet. The quietness has had its advantages though. It has enabled me to finish the first draft of my Angel book, which I’m very excited about. Another two weeks and I should have completed it ready to go the publishers. I’m toying with SHRINE TO MURDER for the title. I had originally thought of MURDER BY NUMBERS. What do you think?

The postman delivered a load of post the first time this morning. Included in it was my bank statement, which doesn’t make for good reading so close after Christmas.
Also had an email from the publishers. It was the artist’s book jacket rough of my Angel book, THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM, which is to be published in October, which looks positively great.

Hope you’re managing through these cold, inhospitable days. They are really testing some people. The bad weather usually finishes by the end of February, so there’s only 20 days to go …. Then cometh the Spring, daffodils and all that. So hang on in there.

PS. Late yesterday afternoon, we went out to Tescos for some victuals after all. The queen had taken stock and looked at the weather forecast. It had been thawing a bit in the sun, so I said I thought we’d be able to get the car up the hill. We managed it easily and the roads at the top were clear. We dashed out and brought back a boatload of stuff without any difficulty. I quickly unloaded it and plonked it in the kitchen, and put the car in the garage, while she unpacked it and put it away.
When I came upstairs to write this, the queen was in her favourite chair with a cup of coffee, purring.

Take care.

2009-01-25T16:38:00.002Z

January 25th
The Conversion of St Paul.
Also the 250th anniversary of the birth of Robert Burns.

There you are. I wondered where you were.

I apologize for neglecting this diary but I have had my head down writing my new Angel book, and trying to avoid the responsibilities of husband, householder and citizen of the world. It was all going terribly well until I estimated that I was going to overrun by around 40/45 pages. Now that’s a lot. I couldn’t expect the publisher to find room for that much excess, so I’ve had to adjust the plot slightly and make some changes; it will necessitate some re-writing. The whole thing will set me back about a month. It’ll make a better book out of it (else I wouldn’t do it). There will be fewer characters and that will streamline the story and make it easier (that is quicker) to read.
It’s quite a scary tale about a serial murderer who seems to know what is happening and therefore must be very close to Angel and the team. Its tentative title is MURDER BY NUMBERS, but that might change.

Hey! Yesterday I was conned by the queen. She knows I won’t go into shops during the lunatic period some people call ‘The Sales,’ when sweet reasonableness, good taste and commonsense fly out of the window and idiocy and greed take over. She asked me at very short notice to take her to Cortonwood. It’s a retail shopping centre about twenty minutes away. You know I can never say no to her. She always gets her own way. She was so excited. Anybody would think I was taking her to see Karen Mathews being banged up. She wanted some blouses of a certain size, colour, design and fastening, but they were not to be had. It gave me the opportunity to browse round a book shop. It was great. I found some old reference books about crime that I was eager to have, also I bought RAVEN BLACK by Ann Cleeves I had wanted (I met her at a Crime Writers’ Association dinner, she’s a prize winning writer and a very nice woman) and THE SUSPICIONS OF MR WHICHER by Kate Summerscale which I had also been told was great. I don’t have a lot of time to read, but I like to have something on hand when sitting around in doctor’s surgeries, hospitals and waiting rooms at railway stations (and in bathrooms!).

By the way ...
Have you noticed how difficult it is to get hold of a really nice sponge? Well you have to buy artificial because, I am told, the natural ones are shapeless and soon fall apart. Artificial ones are made from plastic foam I believe. You would think the ingenuity of man would be able to devise a simple sponge.
I have had four rubbishy ones over the past 12 months. Even the best of them had to be washed and squeezed and massaged to remove all the soap I’d rubbed into them time after time, and they all eventually turn into slimy lumps beyond redemption. I seem to remember as a child having great fun in the bath with a big one. Oh, somebody out there make me a sponge!

If you want to write to me, you can, at <angeldetective@uwclub.net>, and if it’s really interesting, I might publish it here.

By the way, don’t believe all you see on television, the newspapers and on the radio. Journalists, reporters and newsmen have never had it so good. The end of the world is not imminent. Disaster is not about to knock on your door. The world will survive. This chaos in the banking and financial world is all about readjusting the distribution of wealth. The easy days are over. The jackpot, crackpot days of something for nothing are gone. The magic dust has turned into sand. Luck has run out for the incompetent leeches who run businesses, banks*, institutions, large and small, and they will now have to start working for a living. It may be tough for some little people - and I greatly regret that – but for those who will work hard and are worth their wage packet, it will be a lot better in the end, so hang on in there.

I’ll get back to you soon. Take care.

*Banks are businesses just like Woolworths. I don’t believe they should have special treatment at our expense, do you?

2009-01-06T17:08:00.003Z

January 6th Twelve Night 2009

There you are.

Well it’s all over. Would you believe it? Taken the cards and tree and trimmings down. Hope you had a great time. If you had a party I hope it went with well. If there was just the two of you or you are on your own, hope you managed to keep warm, well and happy.

I bought myself a big posh expensive looking volume called, “Great British Fictional Detectives A – Z”, by Russell James. Published January 1st. It’s supposed to be the latest authority on the subject. Well, you’ve got to keep up to date with what’s going on. Of course it’s full of big wheels like Sherlock Holmes, Poirot, Morse and so on. You would expect that. But it also included Maigret, Columbo and some others, who are not British, which surprised me greatly, considering the title of the book. Anyway, I wanted to see what they had written about Angel. I was pleasantly surprised. I reproduce the entry below …

MICHAEL ANGEL
by Roger Silverwood

DI Angel is a serious, hard working copper from South Yorkshire, who thinks for himself and does his own thing while relying nevertheless on his team of four close colleagues. Off duty, he loves his wife, his cats and murder – but the only time he ever smiles is when a murderer gets Life. The series is set in the present day, in real time, with Angel currently in his mid–forties.
In The Midst of Life (2001), Choker (2002), The Man in the Pink Suit (2003), The Importance of Being Honest (2003) Mantrap (2004), Salamander (2005) Sham (2006) The Umbrella Man (2005), The Man Who Couldn’t Lose (2007), The Curious Mind of Inspector Angel (2007), Find The Lady (2008), Wigmaker (2008), Murder in Bare Feet (2008).

… Don’t you think they did him proud? I was tolerably well suited. It summed Angel up very well, I thought. I found the book most interesting … included a few writer friends I know or have met.

Did you know that it’s illegal to take chewing-gum into Singapore? Perfectly true.
Importing or distributing chewing gum is a crime punishable by a fine or up to one year in prison.
I found that out the other day when I was reading a legal book, researching a smuggling story I am thinking of writing. Personally I don’t use chewing gum. I only mention it because it just sounded so ridiculous.

It is very cold today, but cheer up, the forecasters say it’ll be warmer tomorrow and at the weekend.

Thanks for looking in. I’ll get back to you soon.

2008-12-26T14:16:00.004Z

December 26th Boxing Day 2008

It’s all over. Christmas Day came and went as fast as a publisher’s royalty cheque.

After midnight communion (where I developed a sore throat, the result of a determination to sing all eight carols whether the woman in front of me liked it or not), the queen and I got to bed at about one forty-five Christmas day morning. I was so excited I didn’t drop off until about three, but woke up with a slight headache and a dry throat around seven thirty in the morning, about as happy as Woolworth’s sweetie supplier.

Between several phone calls to and from family and friends, I wrote and wrote my new Angel book. I made good progress. Meanwhile the queen was downstairs preparing a gargantuan meal to be served up at five-thirty.

Christmas dinner was great, but I had a second helping of Christmas pudding, which was the quintessence of Silverwood gluttony and my personal downfall.

We saw a bit of telly in the evening, and a great little film we had recorded called THE MAN WHO SAVED CHRISTMAS. (Shades of FOYLE’S WAR which we enjoy.) Sounds like a kid’s tale, but it was about a toy factory owner in the US, torn between making armaments or toys during World War 1. The only actor we knew was an amusing crusty old shuffler called Edward Asner. I remember he played an amusing crusty young editor in THE MARY TAYLOR MOORE SHOW a hundred years previously. You might remember him.

Yesterday (and today) there were some top-notch films but we’ve seen them all several times before.

Went to bed early to make up for loss of sleep. However I woke up at 3.20 am this morning. Couldn’t get off again. The overindulgence of Christmas pud was part of the reason. I knew I would pay for it. Anyway, it was not all a loss. I used some of the quiet time to write more of my Angel book until just gone five. Then the queen woke up, so I got up and made us a very early breakfast.

The Christmas pud problem was still with me. There was only one thing to do. At seven o’clock, I got washed, shaved and dressed and went out for a four mile walk. Now that might seem no distance at all to you, but it equates to walking from Land’s End to Melbourne and back to me. And it was absolutely desolate. It was like attending my own funeral procession. I only saw four zombies the entire walk. One every mile. And they were in hoodies and walking big ugly dogs. The streets were about as lively as the main street in Tombstone just before Jesse James, Frank James and Doc Holliday were expected to ride in.

I got back home at 10.35 am. The front of my legs hurt something rotten. The queen just laughed at me. I got undressed, came back to bed and wrote more Angel. I got stuck just after 12 noon, so I began to write this.

You know, the queen and I have had a super Christmas and I hope that - whatever your dreams were for this Christmastime - that they all came true.

One small gripe. The media seems to think that Christmas is all about buying, and high street retailers and whether it’s at a 30%, 50% or 75% discount. I must say, I have never been less interested. It’s true that I am very lucky, but even so, there are stacks of things in life that I would still like, but none of them could be bought from a high street retailer at even 100% discount. They simply haven't anything I want.

In this house, we ignore the media and all that advertising and PR stuff, and those overpaid celebrities pushing their pension schemes, debt advice, building societies, three piece suites and whatever. Join us. Keep the magic of Christmas alive. Do what you want to do and have a wonderful time.

2008-12-22T13:50:00.001Z

December 22nd 2008

It’s all done. In our small way, we are ready for the great day.

And this year, we’ve never had so many Christmas cards. I’ve enjoyed opening every one. And each one is joyfully reciprocated. Some are from beloved distant relatives, who we haven’t seen for ages. Some from valuable friends we have made over the years who live far away. The rest are from life’s throng of friends, relations and enemies. Each card is enjoyed, renews and restores old relationships, and is full of memories.
I heard the husband of a well known celebrity couple on the telly say, in a superior way, ‘We aren’t sending cards this year … such a waste … we are sending the money to charity.’
On what they’re paid, they could afford to do both.
Poor souls. I don’t suppose they have many friends.

Happier news …
Another of my nephews, Dylan, popped in on Saturday. It was great to see him. He brought a bottle, a Christmas cake and some mince pies, which was very nice. We had a long chat and I took him down to the pub for an hour. He’s going to the West Indies over the holiday season. He enjoys diving so he’ll be having a great time in the water and warmth of the Caribbean. I thought, he’ll want something to read in the plane, so I gave him a copy of THE WIGMAKER. Well, all right. I don’t know whether he wanted something to read in the plane or not. I gave him the book anyway. Got to get rid of them somehow.

I’ve had a glance at the new Radio Times. There’s very little on the box for us this Christmastime. Comedians who aren’t funny. Repeats of very old films. Do you know, I’ve seen THE AFRICAN QUEEN that many times, I know the lines and pauses better than Humphrey Bogart.
Almost everything else is a repeat of a repeat. So most of the time I shall be cracking along writing my new Angel book, and I might catch up with some sleep. The queen has some reading she wants to do and she enjoys the TV hospital soaps like Casualty and Holby City where there is a lot of blood, pain, hypodermic needles and all the patients die.

Anyway there’s only two days to go, so now is the time to slip gently into ‘the magic of Christmas’ mode. Whether you’re joining in a big party, or there’s just two of you, or you are on your own, keep the magic alive.
And whatever your dreams are for this Christmastime, I hope they all come true.
I’ll get back to you very soon.

2008-12-19T03:29:00.003Z

December 19th 2008

Ah, there you are.

I've just heard that the police have conclusive forensic evidence to prove that a man called Robert Napper murdered Rachel Nickell on Wimbledon Common 16 years ago. This is another instance of the police finding and meticulously preserving a substance belonging to a murderer, on the body (or at the scene) of the dead person, then years later, as science was developed, forensic services through DNA revealing the identity of the criminal.
In this instance, they don’t say what the substance was, but it could be as anodyne as dried out perspiration on a garment, or a small flake of skin under the victim’s fingernails, or a single hair that may have fallen from the murderer onto the victim’s body or clothing. Whatever it was, after 16 years, I call that pretty fantastic, don’t you?

To domestic matters …

I’ve finished the cards and posted them. I just have a few cards in walking distance to deliver. All I need is a bit more sunshine, like today, to encourage me outside and they’ll be done.

Presents all bought and despatched (except one). I don’t know what to get the queen. I said she can have anything she likes. It was a bit risky to say that, I know. Consequently, I was very nervous when we were watching the telly and there was a news item about the possible extinction of elephants, and how they need a safe haven. You see, the queen is as soft as a Strangeway’s dumpling, and I could visualise my favourite chair being occupied by a big grey chap with a long hooter.

We’ve already got the turkey. We’ve the tree to do, the cards to put up and we’re all set.

My eldest nephew, Simon, his daughters, Jazmin and Holly, and his friend, Sarah, came to see us at the weekend. The girls are all grown up now and flying around looking at the world. It seems so easy to them. Holly has already walked on the Great Wall of China and taken in the scene of the two towers disaster in New York. As soon as she gets a long weekend off work, I expect she’ll be going to the moon.

I am really looking forward to this Christmas … to the quiet, the rest and the opportunity to write undisturbed. Also, maybe I will sleep better when things settle down and there’s just the two of us.

Christmas is a great festival and it’s for everyone to enjoy and celebrate in their own way. The nativity is a magical story bringing love and hope to a poor man and his wife. We can do with it here and now, so, whether you’re on your own, just two of you, or in a big party, keep the magic alive. I hope your troubles are small ones, and whatever your dreams are for this Christmas time, may they all come true. Have a great time.

I’ll get back to you soon.

2008-12-09T09:17:00.003Z

December 9th 2008

Glad you came back.

Well, I don’t know how you intend spending Christmas. But I have my plans made. It’s going to be paradise here. The staff will be off. The family and friends who are visiting will have been and gone. TV won’t tempt me; I expect it will be the usual rubbish or repeats of repeats. The house will be quiet, so after we have taken our Christmas communion, eaten our turkey and parsnips, and had a snooze, my wife has plans for some quiet reading and a bit of cooking, and I’ll be upstairs continuing to bang out my new Angel book. I will hope to have written twenty more pages by the New Year.

I said in my last diary entry that because it was The National Year of Reading, 2008, I was going to support it by emailing the nearest 12 libraries offering to give a talk to readers’ clubs or to anybody who was interested? Well, I didn’t send the emails. May I be forgiven.
My mind is too caught up with my new book, which I am about half way through. When I am carrying a new plot and a dozen new characters around in my head, it is quite enough for my little brain to think about.
Haven’t you ever gone to sleep thinking about something, and then woken up still thinking about it? Well that’s how I am when putting a new book together. I don’t sleep well either, which in these circumstances for me is normal.
Anyway, frankly, I didn't want to commit myself to turning out of the house in the cold weather. I really don’t want to face the fog, the frost and the snow. I know I must sound a bit of a wet Nellie, but I don’t care. My name’s Silverwood not Fiennes.
I’ll send the emails when the winter is almost over in February maybe, or earlier if I get a sudden attack of guilty conscience.

I hear from RED HERRINGS, the house journal for members of The Crime Writers’ Association that there is more gloomy news from libraries. They are planning to spend less again next year on books. Also 38 libraries have been closed and the forecast is that a similar number will have succumbed to the same fate by next March bringing the total number in three years to over a hundred.
By the time the library bosses have paid for the heating, lighting, rates and staff wages there’s nothing left to buy books! What a carry on.

I’ve had notification that the AGM of the Crime Writers’ Association 2009 will take place in Lincoln in April. So I will easily be able to attend that. It’s only an hour away. Last year it was in Kent and the year before that, Dublin. I understand that among other treats, we will be able to have a looksee at the control room and other ‘private’ places at Lincoln County police station.

One of my great nieces, Holly, has enrolled me onto something called 'Facebook'. Ever since, I have been receiving emails from all parts of the globe…. From people I met years ago …can’t remember many of them … it’s very agreeable but also very time consuming. As a matter of courtesy, I always reply to everybody who writes to me, but they will maybe have to wait a little while. If you want to write to me, you can, at <angeldetective@uwclub.net>, and if it’s really interesting, I might publish it here. How about that?

Well, I hope you are having a pleasant time despite the gloomy news. Don’t forget to go to the library and borrow a few books to tide you over the Christmas holiday ... or there are some good deals on the internet.

I’ll get back to you soon.

2008-11-14T08:37:00.001Z

November 14 2008

Where have you been?

I have some great news. I have just had a letter from the publishers, Hales, to say that the world rights to publish a large print edition of MURDER IN BARE FEET has been sold to Thorpe’s. (Thorpe’s have already published 9 of my books in large print for those with impaired eyesight). That's good, isn't it? But even bigger news is that Hales have sold the audio rights in the book to Isis. That means that MURDER IN BARE FEET will be recorded by an actor on a CD, so that blind people or people who like being read to, can listen to the book. Isn’t that fabulous? I looked at other writers who have their books recorded and sold by Isis and I am indeed in honoured company. I was wondering who they might get to record it. If I had a say, I would go for Robert Hardy. Although he normally speaks in a cultured accent, I’m sure he would produce an excellent northern twang for Angel. What do you think? I’ll let you know how it goes.

Hey. Did you know it was The National Year of Reading, 2008? It’s a government initiative directed at libraries, publishers and responsible writers. Evidently I am expected to prise myself out of my comfortable hidey hole where I do my writing and go out and meet people. I am not too chuffed with the thought, but I appreciate that the idea of encouraging everybody to read more (particularly books) is in my ultimate best interests. I am, therefore writing to the 12 library authorities nearest home offering my services to talk or be interviewed or whatever they might want to do with me, before the year runs out. I don’t care if nobody takes me up on it. I will have done my bit. I can write all the more and stay cosy by the fire. I am nice bloke really, and I love meeting people, it’s just the business of getting dressed up, leaving a warm house, finding the place and parking the car …. I don’t know what will happen. We’ll see. I’ll tell you how it works out.

By the way this weather is playing havoc with my joints. I didn’t think I’d ever be saying that, but age tells all. My dear wife Celia’s wrist is still giving her some punishment, but very slowly improving we think. Hope you’re weathering the wintry punishment. Turn the fire up, blow the expense. Somebody else will have to pay for it if you don’t.

Thanks for looking in. Come back soon. Take care.

2008-11-05T08:30:00.003Z

November 5th Guy Fawkes Day 2008
Hello there.

I must tell you. I woke this morning at the ridiculous time of 1.30 am. But it was not to start making bonfire toffee, nor to find bottles suitable for launching rockets, nor to find a suitable post on which to pin a Catherine wheel, oh no. It was to watch the result of the election of the President of the USA. And I had to wait until 4.30 am before it was 24 carat certain that it was to be Barack Obama. I am pleased to see that he is the victor, and I wish my friends (I have lots of readers in the US) the very best in the future … But I wished I had slept through. I will be in a fog all day. Instead of writing page turning saleable stuff, it will probably all be tripe and have to be scratched out tomorrow. I will not merely have lost a night’s sleep, I will have lost a day’s work as well.

Moving quickly on …
I got a few good wishes on the launch of MURDER IN BARE FEET on October 31st, which was very kind. The dust jacket was well up to expectations and should be quite striking among the hundreds of other books competing for attention in the shops. Also, my dear wife, Celia, did have the pot removed from her arm, and we did go out and had the special haddock to celebrate. The country pub we go to has a big log fire and we sat by it and heard the logs crackle and enjoyed the heat as we tackled the batter.

It is nice to live extravagantly now and again, isn't it? …

I knew you'd agree.

Oh dear. (Yawn. Yawn)
I must get some sleep.
Thanks for looking in.
Come back soon.

2008-10-24T08:43:00.003+01:00

October 24th 2008
Glad you’ve come back.

The good news is that my wife, Celia, is having the pot off her broken wrist next Friday, October 31st. Great stuff! That’s Halloween, which coincidentally is the publication date of my new Inspector Angel book, MURDER IN BARE FEET. So we are going out for a double celebratory lunch. We’re planning to have haddock and chips at a quiet little pub we know out in the country. (Stuff the expense). Please look out for MURDER IN BARE FEET in the shops or in your library. It’s an intriguing story that stumps Angel for a while. I had great fun writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Hey, I had an email from a reader who has just read MANTRAP. She said she enjoyed it, which is always nice to hear. I note from her address that she lives in New Zealand. Her name is Mrs Amy Pollard.
Isn’t the internet amazing? It reaches all parts of the world. Do you think anybody in Mars is also having a secret peek at this?
Anyway, Amy tells me she used to live in Askern, which is not far from Doncaster and Bromersley. So she knows the places Angel and Co visit, and the kind of locations where the crimes are committed.
Do you know, I understand that my books are sold in every English speaking country, but up to now, I’ve only heard from the US and Singapore? It’s nice to know that Inspector Angel is also read in New Zealand. Good on you, Amy. Thanks for the email. Slap another sausage on the barbie.

You know, I’d love to hear from you. If you send me an interesting email, I might give it a mention here and you could maybe see it in due course.

Must go. I’ve got to collect Celia from the hairdresser’s. And I’m supposed to be working on another book. I’ve got started and it’s going OK, so far. I’m on page 50. Hales need 224. Only another 174 to do. Easy?

Thanks for looking in.

If you want to get back to the main website, click on Roger Silverwood – Crime Writer, up on the right.
Come back soon.
Take care.

2008-09-26T15:56:00.004+01:00

September 26th 2008

Hello there, readers. Glad you're back.

On Tuesday last, my dear wife, Celia, fell and broke her wrist. Needed an ambulance to take her to hospital, where she had to have it set and then reset with the support of what they call gas and air. It was, of course, nitrous oxide, but absolutely nothing happened at all that made her laugh. Bless her. She is now wearing a plaster cast that weighs more than a Strangeways porridge cooker. Her face is down to her boots, and who do you think is doing the nursing, the shopping, the cooking, washing up, feeding the cats and the birds, and everything else?

I thought for a time that I wouldn’t be able to get to the northern chapter meeting of the Crime Writers Association (the CWA) on Sunday. However, she very kindly let me off the hook to go.

The meeting was held in a posh hotel in Lancashire. It was a smaller turnout than usual due to illness; also some members had delayed their holidays due to the bad summer and were taking them then.

My good friend Peter N. Walker (who also writes under the name of Nicholas Rhea) who wrote and created the ‘Heartbeat’ series and writes the ‘Constable’ books was not there. He hardly ever misses a meeting, but this last year, he hasn’t been too well; just as he was getting on his feet, his lovely wife, Rhoda broke her leg (skiing, no doubt), so Peter is having to mix the Martinis, take the money to Barclays and throw the fish and chip papers out for the both of them, for the time being.

At the lunch, I sat next to my good friend, Shirley Wells and her husband Nick. Shirley tells me she has just finished a book she has been working on for more than a year. She keeps reading it and polishing it, and one day, very soon, she’s going to print it off and send it to her publisher. She’s had about six good sellers published, so she shouldn’t have anything at all to worry about.

Met up with Meg Elizabeth Atkins who reminisced about the time we used to have CWA meetings in The Queen’s Hotel in Leeds. She remembers me as I do her, but that was over twenty years ago. She has written some very hairy books in the past. Meg writes much less often now, but enjoys organizing the Association’s conferences and meetings.

Also met for the first time a delightful lady and very busy writer who now lives in Leeds, Frances McNeil, winner of the HarperCollins Elizabeth Elgin award for the most regionally evocative debut saga of the Millenium, ‘Somewhere Behind the Morning’. She has written plays and short stories for the BBC, written novels, worked in the US. Been everywhere. Done everything. Seen everything. Makes you sick.

The national chairman, Lesley Horton, was there, and told us that the national committee are negotiating with a major TV company to be the new sponsor of the Silver Dagger Crime Writers’ Association awards. If that comes off, it should be exciting and open the door to a wider choice of crime fiction to viewers of that particular channel and more work for lesser known writers, instead of the same, usual half a dozen regulars.

The northern chapter chairman, Roger Forsdyke, who happens to be a superintendent of police, said that the 2009 national conference was to be held in Lincoln. That’s great news for me. I can probably get to that without staying away from home.

The meeting finished after the lunch and I got home at about four o’clock to my darling Celia, a sink full of pots, a meal to cook and the cats to feed. Anyway, it was great fun meeting old friends.

You know, I’d love to hear from you. If you send me an interesting email, I might publish it here and you could maybe see it maybe in a week or two.

I got an appreciative email from Edward Day in South Wales, who was very complimentary about Angel and said ‘could you please promote the ever eager Police Cadet Ahmed Ahaz, he does so deserve it.’
I was able to reply to Edward that Ahmed had been promoted, a few books back, to the rank of Police Constable following passing a course at Aykley Heads Police Training College, near Durham. But thanks very much for that, Edward.

Must go. Got another sink full of pots to wash. And a book to write. Thanks for looking in. Please come back in a little while and I’ll tell you what Angel’s up to and how I’m getting on.

If you want to get back to the main website, click on Roger Silverwood – Crime Writer, up on the right. God bless.

2008-09-17T08:43:00.002+01:00

September 17th 2008

I say, members of the Crime Writers Association (the CWA) who live in the north will be getting ready for the six-monthly meeting and luncheon of the Northern Chapter which will be held in a hotel somewhere central on Sunday next, September 21st. I am not allowed to say exactly where, because it is for members only and the famous faces wouldn’t want the press and celebrity spotters watch them as they tuck their serviettes in their shirt collars and dip their bread in the gravy. It’s understandable really …

Crime writers will travel a hundred miles or more to meet old friends, have a meal, a ginger beer and talk about stuff like changes in the gun laws, publishers’ advances, book sales, TV rights and the apostrophe. It might sound like the stuff out of Strangeways slop buckets to you, but it’s the very lifeblood to writers like me, who spend hours and hours on their own, tapping away at a computer keyboard, thinking up characters, bringing them to life and putting them in original and believable plots.

Anyway, I’ll tell you about it when I get back next week. Thanks for looking in.

If you want to get back to the main website, click on Roger Silverwood – Crime Writer, above to the right.

Happy reading!

2008-09-13T11:11:00.003+01:00

DIARY

September 13th 2008

I am simply bursting to tell you that my book was accepted. Got a letter and contract in the post this morning. If you’ve been following this diary, you’ll know that last week I submitted my latest Angel book to the publishers for their consideration.

It will be called THE CUCKOO CLOCK SCAM. This was the book I had had such difficulty with because I had been diverted twice for different reasons and had to reread twice and concentrate really hard to get into the spirit of the book and get back into the plot. It was well worth the effort. I hope you will think it’s a good read. It won’t be published until about this time next year, but the publishers get on with the pre-production such as the ideas for the dust jacket, and working out exactly how many pages it will be and if I have the apostrophe in the right place and so on.
Do you know, if I could drink a bottle of champagne, I’d open one today; as I can’t, it’ll have to be a cup of Tetleys.

I’ll get back to you soon. Thanks for looking in. If you want to get back to the main website, scroll up to the top right and click on Roger Silverwood – Crime Writer.

2008-09-06T14:49:00.003+01:00

September 6th 2008.

Hello there. This is my fourth entry. I think I’m getting the hang of this diary writing caper. It is certainly creating a lot of interest. But I may have to make future contributions to it shorter, though. After all, my prime writing commitment has got to be to the publisher. If I don’t get my Angel books written in the first place, then Hales can’t publish them, and nobody would ever hear the latest about what Michael Angel and his wife, Mary, Ahmed and the rest of them are doing. And this diary, about them and me would be totally irrelevant (if you see what I mean). Also, if I owe you an email, hang on in there. I’ll get round to it as soon as I can.

On Saturday 23rd August, my youngest nephew, Andrew and his lovely wife, Mandy and their two adopted boys, James and Kieron came over from Bridlington to see us. They are definitely emigrating to New Zealand. They’ve both got jobs waiting. The only thing that is stopping them is the selling of their house. They’ll be off as soon as they get a purchaser. What about that? But it’s a long way. We shall miss them terribly.

On Saturday, 30th August, I finally finished the book. Oh what a relief! I had been through it again, laboriously questioning every word, tightening the plot, rounding the characters, still finding little inconsistencies and typos. My wife, Celia, also finally went through it and found a few more. Anyway, I printed it off on Sunday, packed it up and posted it off first thing last Monday morning. All I can do about it now is wait and hope.

On Sunday, 31st August, I heard from my old friend Matthew Elliott. Matthew has written stacks of radio plays. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of crime fiction both American and British and writes articles on that subject for trade magazines. He is very busy too. He has a commission to write a new series of that cult hero, Mike Hammer.

My wife’s cousin, Jennifer and her husband Derek Mold in Sheringham, Norfolk, were in touch also last Sunday, and he played his digiridoo for us over the phone. It’s a sort of one note instrument and through simultaneously breathing in and out allows the one beautiful, atmospheric note to be played non stop for long periods. It’s very soothing. Derek is a skilled player and is going back to Australia soon for more lessons. It’s absolutely true.

On Monday, September 1st, - hey, this was exciting - I got an invitation to dinner with America’s Sherlock Holmes, John Patrick Lowrie. He is flying into London for a few days. It is for dinner at the Sherlock Holmes Hotel (where else?) later this month. I have written three plays for him. I would love to go, but I’m not sure I can fit it in. We’ll see.

I am still waiting to hear whether my latest Angel book has been accepted. I’ll slap it down here and tell you even if it hasn’t. Watch this space.

I’ve started another book … so I’m going to get right back to it. Thanks for looking in. I'll write again soon.

If you want to get back to the main website, scroll up to the top right and click on Roger Silverwood - Crime Writer.

Cheers.

2008-08-26T13:24:00.002+01:00

August 26th 2008

Hello there. This is my third blog entry. If you haven’t looked in before, I’m trying to convey a flavour of what it’s like living here in South Yorkshire, writing crime novels (especially stories about Inspector Angel) while also trying to live something like a normal life. Now if that would be of interest to you, join the gang and please read on.

Since last time, I have had some interesting emails from very some nice people. One particular gentleman asked me if I was a relation of Herbert Silverwood, the evangelist who came from somewhere here in Yorkshire. Sadly I am not, but I had met him 20 or more years ago. He was a nice old gentleman wonderfully and sincerely gifted. I expect he will have passed on to greater glory by now.

You know, I’d like to hear from you. If you send me an interesting email, I might publish it here and you could maybe see it in a week or two.

A writer friend of mine, lovely Shirley Wells, reminded me that this diary goes all the way round the world. Wherever anybody with a computer, who might be at home, in an office, up a tree, in a boat, on a hot beach shaking down a coconut or wherever, who might be interested in Angel, or anything else I write about, can have a peek here for free.

Well, of course they can, cobber. I hadn’t thought about it. So it’s an opportunity for me to say to hello to all my friends in faraway places … such as Imagination Theatre in Seattle, Washington, USA, who I have written plays for; also my cousin, Paul in Northfield, in Michigan, USA, (it’s the town where Jesse James was shot dead); my wife’s cousin and good friend Robin and his lovely wife in Singapore, and my wife’s nephew, a great young man, Robs who has a posh job in Perth, Australia. Hope you’re all happy, making a few quid and getting a few beers wherever you are. Great stuff.

I say, on August 7th, I had not had a good night, didn’t sleep very well, and after I’d had my prunes and bran flakes and a mug of tea, I was upstairs, unshaved and in my pyjamas and dressing gown bumbling between the study (it’s a little store room with a desk, a computer and a filing cabinet in the corner) and the bedroom, where I do most of my writing on a laptop on the bed, on one elbow. I had wanted to write, but pains in my back and tooth-ache were getting at me and all I could think about was what to grumble about next. Well, it was that sort of day … chucking it down with rain as well as everything else. My wife was in the bathroom getting dressed, as I passed the door, I came back to tell her that the new two ply toilet paper doesn’t tear properly. Which it doesn’t. Each ply tears at a different length, which is damned inconvenient. I was going on at length about this and she was beginning to get ratty and I was getting rattier, when the phone rang. I turned and went into the bedroom and answered it. I expected it was somebody wanting to selling me something. I once had a girl ringing me up at eight o’clock at night wanting to sell me a wheelchair with 35% off!! I don’t even need a wheelchair. I could have reached down the wire and choked her. Anyway, it wasn’t. It was an appointments clerk at the hospital. It was about my appointment at the hospital for an examination and check up on the 21st. Would I like to come in earlier? Yes. Of course I would, I said. When? Soon as you can. How about today? Today? Can you make two o’clock? Today? Yes. I thought a second. Why not? Of course I can. Yes, I said. Yes. Right, she said. So, it was on.
I started moving round then. Had to. Time and tide and all that. Washed and shaved in no time. Shower. Clean vest and pants and all that for the doctor. We gobbled lunch … tomato soup, mashed banana in milk, apple and pear … and we were there, outrageously early at one o’clock, seen early at one-forty-five, told I was clear for another twelve months. Clear! Great. I said WONDERFUL, THANK YOU, God. Got dressed. Home for two twenty-five. Done, dusted, don’t have to worry about the hospital, and I’m clear for another twelve months. Absolute Magic. Fed the outside cats. Went upstairs. Wrote almost a full page.

The following day, the 8th, the galley proofs of MURDER IN BARE FEET (to be published on October 31st) arrived for me to check over. That was the last opportunity for me to make sure there were no mistakes to be reproduced a thousand million times, for all the world to see for all eternity what a fool I am. Another tedious job. But I decided to let it wait.

You see, I was afraid that I might lose the thread of the book I’m currently writing yet again. Well, you know I am in the middle of another Angel book, and had had two disturbances to my stream of thought. One of them was getting the website open on time for July 1st and the other thing was a painful wisdom tooth. I eventually had to have the damned thing out. Both these things took my concentration away from the writing. Once you’ve lost the thread, you’ve got to re-read the narrative, refresh your memory, pick up the characters, the plot, the intensity of the thing and regain the momentum. I had lost all that.

I was determined it was not going to happen a third time. I made everything wait, that I could, until I’d finished the book. I reckoned it should only take me about another 10 days. Dammit. I had everything, the characterisations, the clues, the exposé and the ending in my mind. I just had to get everything down in the right sequence, in the right words, to make the right length, while it was fresh and before I forgot it. Why doesn’t anybody understand that?

Anyway, on August 20th at 8.30 in the morning, I finished it. I say ‘finished’. I still need to go through it and polish it, but there’s no risk of me forgetting anything. It’s written down. I have got every character’s name right. The plot works. The story’s thrilling, unique and crisp. I am quite excited. Hope everybody else will be. (If it’s accepted, it won’t be published until September 2009).

Now I’ve chance to catch up with jobs I’ve left. Got to check those galley proofs and sort out my accountant. I am sure he’s getting things wrong. I think I’m being charged for all the Bejing fireworks!

Well, I hope you had a super holiday. We didn’t go away this year, maybe we’ll manage it later on.

Must go. Got to polish my book then think of a plot for a new book … and I haven’t an idea in my head.

Please come back in a little while and I’ll tell you what Angel’s up to and how I’m getting on.
-oOo-

2008-07-31T14:46:00.001+01:00

August 1st 2008

Hello there.

Well you wouldn't think a whole month has passed since I wrote the first page in this diary, would you?

There was a problem with the email contact to enable you to write to me, this has now been fixed by James (the webmaster). But I do know that a few hundred good people have had a peep here. I hope that they read this diary. I get such a kick out of writing it.

In the early part of the month, I saw the artist's first idea of the dust jacket of MURDER IN BARE FEET which is the next Inspector Angel book coming out on October 31st, this year. It was simply the picture of the mould of a foot in sand and shells from a handgun. I thought it looked great. I hope readers won't think it's a story set in the desert; it's set in Bromersley, here in South Yorkshire, of course.

I also got an advance copy of the large print edition of THE CURIOUS MIND OF INSPECTOR Angel, which is due out in the bookshops and internet shops on July 30th. It's a very striking cover. You can see it at the top of the page. If you have somebody who has visual difficulty or if it's a young person trying to learn to read, these versions are really helpful. I have nine books out in large print now. The titles are listed and shown at the bottom of the Books page. If you don't want to buy any of them, ask at your library, they usually have them in stock or might get them in, if you smile at the librarian sweetly.

By the way, I have just heard that WILD ABOUT HARRY (that'll be the 13th Inspector Angel book) will be published on the 27th February 2009. That's four days after my birthday. It'll be like a late birthday present.

I have a letter calling me to the hospital to have a check up on the 21st. I have had a few of these over the past five years. I hate it ... difficulty parking the car, hanging around for ages, undressed in a dressing gown, waiting for a miserable man in a white coat to hurt me. Then wait for the verdict. I don't like it. Anyway, please wish me luck.

Hey. I hear that the Plain English Campaign, which I enthusiastically support, have accused the press offices and websites of some British police forces of 'ploddedlygook'. Apparently Norfolk constabulary call their control room 'citizen focus command.' While Suffolk coppers call the boss of their IT department, 'the director of knowledge architecture'. How about that?
Instead of 'crime writer', I thought I would call myself 'a placement of words in reasoned entertaining sequence relating exclusively to crime, operative'. What do you think?

That famous Booker prize has been awarded. £20,000. I look at it covetously each year knowing that I have as much chance of winning it as I have of finishing a full bottle of champagne in a day. I did that after a party, when my first Angel book, IN THE MIDST OF LIFE was published years ago! Happy memories.

Did you know that creosote is a banned substance? The perimeter of my garden was recently fenced with timber which has never been painted, so I needed a few gallons of creosote to preserve it. I went down to Focus and asked for creosote. The assistant in there looked at me blank. The stuff has been banned for sale by European regulations. Can't think why. You wouldn't want to smoke it, inhale it, or drink it, would you?

Must get back to writing ... I'll never finish this book on time.

PS. I saw this lovely joke in RED HERRINGS, that's the crime writer association's official magazine ...
Question: How many crime writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Two. One to put the bulb in the socket and another to give it an extra twist.

Must fly. Have a super holiday.

2008-07-02T06:34:00.006+01:00

July 1st 2008

Well, hello folks. It’s July already, and who would think I’m writing on my very own website. If my father was alive he wouldn’t believe it. For that matter, my father wouldn’t believe that you can shove a piece of plastic in the wall and tap in a number and money comes out! But there you are.

But readers, hello. It’s July 2008. And the sun is shining. The hottest day of the year so far!
I have never kept a diary before, but I am going to try and give anybody who cares to read it – if there is anybody out there – a flavour of what it’s like trying to be a crime writer and at the same time still live as much of a normal life as possible.

If last week was anything to go by, you will see how difficult it is. Huh. The phone was dead for three days, I had to have a wisdom tooth out, I had to take my wife to the hospital for a check up, we ran out of porridge and my webmaster (what a posh name, but he insists on it- he’s power mad – his real name is James) insisted that the site should still be completed and opened on time.

While all this was happening, I had to check off the fiddling little errors and inconsistencies that the copy editor at Hales had found in the manuscript of my book, MURDER IN BARE FEET (September/October this year). There aren’t many this time, thank goodness, but they needed sorting out. It’s boring and time-consuming. I’ve written and re-read the book a hundred times by now. I know it backwards … I want to move on. Anyway I’ve had an email this morning from the obermeister-furhrer down there, apparently everything is now OK and the manuscript has gone to the typesetter. It’s exciting. Although I’ve had seventeen books published, every stage nearer publication of a new book still gives me a buzz of excitement, like a family of bees buzzing round my chest.

I’m off to try and write some more while I can. I’m in the middle of a book for September/October next year, 2009, it’s about a man finding a dead pig in a nightie in his bed. I’ve got Angel tangled up in a devil of a plot that is taking some sorting out … and I am supposed to know whodunnit! Come back in a week or two and I’ll tell you how I’m getting along.